The phone rang at 0100 during the night telling me that Jake had gotten out of bed and slipped down to the floor. He didn't hit his head as far as they could tell and his neuro checks still looked good, but because he had gotten out of bed he would now have to have a "sitter." Just in case his neuro checks changed, he would go back for a STAT CT scan of the head to see if there was anymore damage or bleeding.
I was just sick and frantic to get back to the hospital. His very delightful nurse, Jamie...told me that everything was under control and that I should try to sleep. I did, but I had nightmares...too awful to even recount.
This morning I felt like I just had to rush back to the hospital to assume care of "watching" Jake. When Grandma Marilyn and I arrived, it was very anti-climatic. Jake was sleeping peacefully. More peacefully than I had seen him in 11 days.
Jake was more verbal when he woke up. His doctor came in and told us that he was well enough to be transferred up to the 10th floor----out of SICU--- What a step. Jake was so eager to go that he was constantly trying to wave down anyone he saw, even the housekeeper---to ask when he would go upstairs. I told him that he shouldn't be so eager to leave the single room that he had. More than likely he would be put into a double room and it wouldn't be as convenient. He told me, "Who cares? The faster I get upstairs, the faster I get to go home and get back to school." Not sure he had heard me when I talked to him while he was semi-conscious, I asked him if he knew what his nickname was. Jake replied, "Shortcut."
Jake knows that his life has changed, but he is working very hard to get his old life back. If anything, he is too anxious --maybe too impatient to move on. I can't believe that I am saying that.
Jake had a visit from his drumline buddies today. We didn't adhere to the "2 visitors only" rule. I opened the side door and soon there were 5 kids sitting and joking with Jake. He was actually laughing and talking with his friends. He even took a pair of sunglasses off of one of the kids and put them on. Talk about snazzy with sunglasses, bulging head, stitches on both sides and a feeding tube. They don't get better looking than that.
Just as I was ready to kick kids out the back door, his nurse for the day, Peter...came in to tell us that Jake was moving upstairs. Once the ball was put in motion, it moved very quickly.
Because Jake had tried to get up out of bed the night before, he was assigned a room with 2 other patients who also needed closer watching. Many more things than I could have hoped.. Jake understands, however there is still the impulsiveness that goes with a brain injury and some blank spots that make sense....sort of.
Just before Jake was transferred up to the 10th floor, he was given another swallow evaluation. He took a spoonful of ice water and swallowed. No problem. Then another spoonful. He said, "Water has never tasted so good in his life." He swallowed some Jell-O, drank water from a straw and then drank some cola. He was able to swallow a "M&M" pill. In other words, he passed with flying colors. Jake was then asked why he was in the hospital. He told the therapist that he had broken his legs and he broke his brain. I cringed. Jake didn't break his brain. His brain will be fine. It is just bruised and healing.
In a matter of a very few minutes, Jake was up in his new room on the 10th floor. Beautiful, magnificent view. Not much room at the bedside, no TV that he can see, some commotion with other patients and a nurse at the bedside at all times watching those 3 characters in the room, but to Jake, he had arrived. He is now on his way home, though he still has some stops along the way.
He has a new helmet to wear when he is up. The words weren't quite there. Jake called it a blanket for his head. Well... almost.
He was taken off of tube feeding... given a swallow exam and then placed on a regular diet in a matter of hours. His nurse ordered him a Full Liquid diet just to be cautious. His dinner was held for almost 40 minutes after it arrived so he could have a blood sugar test done before he ate. Jake became anxious and impatient wanting to eat. I told him to push his call button. He did, and asked into the call button, "Is there a woman there to bring me some food? I'm hungry."
We all bit our lips to keep from laughing. He wanted the nurse to let him eat, but the word just wasn't there. Earlier in the afternoon, he wanted the teacher to come take out his feeding tube. I have visions of Jake going back to school and calling the teacher his nurse.
Once Jake was allowed to eat the food he couldn't wait to eat in front of him, he took bites of cold tomato soup, a sip of black coffee, cranberry juice and melted orange sherbet. He looked like he relished each bite, then said, "this stuff is gross." Tomorrow we'll celebrate with real food.
Jake walked to the bathroom with Hal and I on either side. It is the first time he has been up in 12 days. He was wobbly, weak and his broken pelvis hurts him.
Jake's eyes are so much brighter than they were yesterday. He no longer just stares as if he can't quite get words out to communicate. Sometimes the words aren't always quite right, but sheesh... this kid whom we were terrified would have numerous deficits, is text messaging, talking, and has very good motor control.
So.. today was such a different day from yesterday...and we have come far from the night we watched in terror as he was taken for not one, but two craniotomies. Tonight Jake was no longer hooked up to EKG leads, or an oximeter, feeding tube, ventilator, or IV lines. He still has 2 saline locks that he complains about, but little by little the enormous amounts of excess tubes have gone by the wayside.
Jake's new room, aka cubicle... is covered with pictures of friends, baseball, and music. Hopefully we decorated prematurely, because I'm hoping we'll get him into a room of his own soon. Jake just has to remember to call for help if he thinks he needs to get up. Jake thinks he is Superman. The balloon at his bedside still rises prominently. "Win the Fight... Jake."
Tonight, Jake is doing just that. I am so pleased... so relieved, and so ready to get back on with life too. Hal told Jake that he looks so much better than yesterday. Jake responded, "Yeah... like I'm not dead."
No he is not. He has a whole life ahead of him. Jake wouldn't let me take his baseball jersey signed by the team home. He still wants to pitch and hit. Jake's drumsticks are right at his bedside. Drumline is in season.
Good night. Tomorrow will hopefully bring new miracles. Just like me... It's all about me.. I just want all the miracles I can get.
me...alison
2/25/07
Saturday night Jake was moved to a private room. It came with one catch. Alison had to spend the night to keep an eye on him so that there'd be no sneaking out of bed for Mr. Jake.. I can't tell you how broken up she is about it. NOT. I doubt she would have ever gone home since that fateful Sunday if they didn't make her.
When I stopped by Friday to bring Brandon down to visit, and to say hello myself if there was time , and it was moving day. His stuff was packed and he was a boy...man...on a mission. Alison went in what is really the 'patient' elevator with the nurse and Jake, and we went around the corner to the main elevator we'd come to know. We ran into one of the chaplains as we were headed up and he asked about Jake. We told him Jake was moving up and moving out. He said that this was a good sign. I said that was an understatement! I smiled, it was clear he had no idea of all the tall buildings Jake has been leaping in a single bound.
Jake is eating and laughing and visiting and soooo anxious to get back to his life. He is using a walker as his pelvis heals, he has to be careful about putting too much weight on right side. Alison thinks that by Monday he will be back in La Mesa at Grossmont Hospital, though it's not for sure, and they will be one step closer to getting their lives back. There he will do rehabilitation and physical therapy to regain his strength and mobility. Upset that he has missed 9 days of school and hoping to get back asap, it is almost amusing to those who sat hours and days in the waiting room, hoping for a glimmer of consciousness.
Alison sends her regrets for not being able to write a note today to all of those loyal to her thoughtful, eloquent, and touching updates. I know my words are no match for a loving mother recollecting the details of her son's incredible journey. Since this craziness started 13 days ago, we have all taken Jake into our hearts and he has become our son or brother or grandson, even for those who do not know him or his accomplishments. When this first happened, the doctors had no idea how things would play out for Jake and his family. I want to personally thank everyone who has kept them in their thoughts and prayers. I have no doubt that our collective voice has been heard and that the love you all have shown has made a difference.
Max's birthday is Sunday and no doubt it will be a family affair hospital-style. So happy birthday, Max! And enjoy that bed while you can because Jake will be coming home before you know it!
A.S.
2/26/07 Alison Drew Writes:
Yesterday (Saturday, February 24th) was incredible. I was very eager to get back in to see Jake since they had moved him into a 3 bed "watch" room the night before. I was just hoping that he had been compliant and had not tried to get up on his own. Yep, he passed that test. Even so, he would only be allowed to be in a private room if I stayed with him 24/7. Absolutely! I was thrilled.
Jake was so glad to get into a room of his own and he had wall to wall friends and relatives celebrating his room assignment with him. The view from his room is spectacular. He is able to look right out at Point Loma from his bed, and he can see the airplanes landing and taking off from Lindbergh. Amazingly wonderful. I feel certain that his room assignment was made with consideration and kindness. The staff at Mercy Hospital has been just terrific. They have gone out of their way to think about all aspects of Jake's care including his psyche. They know that he is a teenager with friends, and they have accommodated visitation as much as physically possible. Mercy Hospital gets a "Star" for their compassion.
The physical therapist got Jake up yesterday and taught him to use a walker. He is putting full weight bearing on his left leg, and toe touch only on his right leg. Sounds easy, but Jake found it exhausting. His arms are weak, and he has little stamina. He made it out to the lobby of the 10th floor twice yesterday, as well as those few trips to the bathroom. By 7PM, Jake was ready to go to sleep. We talked about watching DVD's..(thanks to Adele King's son, Kevin for coming down to visit and letting Jake borrow some of his favorites), but the day whooped him. He stayed awake until 9 PM, but then fell into a sound sleep.
By 11:30 PM though, he was awake and watching the clock. His nurse had told him that he would be getting another fingerstick to check his blood sugar level at midnight. He gets very antsy when someone tells him something is going to happen. He can't wait for whatever is to come....to hurry up and happen. Fixated is a word I would use.
This morning, Saturday, Feb. 25th, 2007 I asked Jake's trauma physician for an order to let Jake shower, and my request was granted. Of course, Jake has to wear the helmet when he is up, but the shower stall has a seat and he was able to remove the helmet long enough to shampoo some of the crust and crud out of his scalp around his stitches on both sides of his swollen head. He just kept telling me that he hasn't showered in 2 weeks. Yeah...I know, but 2 weeks ago I would never have believed he would be showering today. He sat in there for almost 30 minutes letting the warm water run over his aching body.
Now that Jake is awake.. and he is truly... no-doubt-about-it...awake, he is able to think about all that he has missed over these past 2 weeks. He is genuinely upset about the 8 days of school he has already missed. He says he missed a test in AP/Gov... "do you know how bad that is?" He missed baseball tryouts, and he wanted to have such a great season. "This is just terrible---horrible." And then there is his drumline. He wants to march with his snare. David P.D. brought his music for the drumline show down to the hospital. Jake is practicing with drum sticks beating on a mattress pad. I'm his room mate for the time being, and I find those drum sticks music to my ears.
Today, Sunday, is younger brother Max's 13th birthday. It should be such a big day for Max, not one spent at the hospital, but he doesn't mind. Max is just so happy to see his brother get well. For 2 weeks Max has been put on the back burner. I sent him to school one day when he really didn't feel good---while I rushed back down to be at the hospital with Jake. He began feeling worse after he got there, but didn't ask to go home. Instead he had to run a "cardio" in P.E. and flunked it because he couldn't run. I felt so guilty for sending Max in the first place. The next day, I took Max into Dr. Short's office for a strep screen. It was negative. So I took Max home, tucked him into bed... alerted our wonderful neighbor Kristin...(one campsite, two tents) that Max was home alone, and rushed back down to be with Jake at the hospital. Poor Max. Now today his birthday is also upstaged by Jake. In the first days after Jake's accident when we didn't know if Jake would wake up...if Jake would be "Jake" again... his cousin, Tina... asked Max what he wants for his birthday. Max replied, "Tranquility." Happy Birthday Max from Jake. You've got your tranquility.
This is written in the quick moments I've left Jake with Auntie Kim so I can come home to shower. Again tonight, I'll be staying with Jake and will not be able to write the update. My hope is that tomorrow Jake will be moved to Grossmont Hospital's Physical Rehab unit. Jake's hope is that tomorrow he'll be able to come home. Uhhh....maybe not quite that fast, Jake... but soon, after all.. we nicknamed him "Shortcut."
Many, many millions of thanks to everyone who continues to keep Jake in their thoughts. And.. Happy Birthday Max! You are my special gift!
me... alison... Max's and Jake's mom.
2/27/06
A Room with a View
Alison has another torturous night in the hospital with her beloved son, Jake , and cannot do her writing duties so you are stuck with me. She has gotten more rest there in the past two nights than she has in the previous two weeks combined! The view of the bay from there is outstanding. Not bad digs. The people at Mercy have been super, an A+ overall rating.
Max's birthday was celebrated with pizza and cake, all local family crammed into the small room for the festivities. Afterward, Tina and BJ took Max out for a night on the town bowling. He got some cash and his brother back. so what else could a kid ask for?
Jake learned how to use crutches in anticipation of a possible return home. Yes, today that possiblity was put on the table, It seems Jake is not sick enough to be where he is and maybe not anywhere. It is slim but maybe he'll go home. His mission (occupational therapy) was to take the elevator to another floor, using his crutches to walk, and make some microwave popcorn. I hope he did it right, there is nothing worse...okay, few things worse than the smell of burnt popcorn!
It has yet to be determined, but the doctor doesn't see any reason for Jake to do in-patient rehab as long as someone is home with him at all times until he's done, Then he would go for 3 hours a day and come back home. But, due to complications of insurance and different hospitals having jurisdiction over his treatment, what will happen ultimately is a bit confusing to say the least. Of course things change all of the time so who knows, really. The people making decisions may not have all of the information so it's frustrating and a bit scary. But keeping the faith has gotton us this far!
The bottom line is , that Jake continues to improve beyond anyone's expectations, even his neurosurgeon, and he is better off today than he was yesterday and so on. He will get better and do his senior project, graduate from high school, and move on to college. Anything more than that is icing on the cake.
Until then he sits with his gorgeous view and strums the guitar without ever having a lesson and more talent in his little finger than most could ever dream of...and now it seems he will get to fulfill those dreams of his, one day at a time.
A.S.
1:00 PM
Today during the "PT"s, tasks and tests Jake does to see where he is, he fainted. This is a definite sign that he should go to Sharp Memorial where he will work on recouperating from his head trauma with trained professionals. Sharp Memorial has the most up to date program for this type of injury so he will be in good hands. It's a postitive step in the right direction for Jake. Coming home would be premature and now we know for sure. So at some point today he will be moved to his new home away from home.
A.S.
2/28/07
Jake is doing amazingly well. So well in fact, that he almost didn't qualify for inpatient rehab. How do you be too well for inpatient rehab when just 1 week ago today, Jake was still on the ventilator? Somehow Jake has come through this like a breeze. His doctors gave him the "Most Improved Player" award yesterday. He deserves it. He has come such a long, long way in such a short time.
Today the insurance companies "duked it out" as to where Jake should go. Grossmont Hospital's Rehab? Children's Hospital's Rehab? Home?????? or as was eventually decided, Jake was transferred to Sharp Memorial's Rehab Unit at 4 PM today. He almost qualified going home, but the safety issue is paramount to the decision made to keep him as an inpatient.
This morning Physical Therapy got Jake up to practice climbing and descending stairs with his crutches. He did just fine. UNTIL..... Jake was standing in the lobby of the 10th floor and suddenly complained of feeling hot. Before we could get his sweatshirt off or even get a chair for him, Jake swooned... No... he outright passed out. We were able to catch him and prevented him from hitting the ground, but there is no doubt that he fainted. That was another wake up call. Jake wants to come home so bad he can taste it. We would be so happy to have Jake home and care for him here, but we do have a 2 story house. If that fainting spell happened at home, it would have been difficult to handle by myself. Karen, his Physical Therapist says that when Jake gets into the Major League's, she can't wait to see him pitch for the Padres. She's going to tell everyone that Jake "swooned into her arms."
So, those moments of hoping that we'd all be back at home tonight vanished in just a few frightening moments. Jake is in room 147-2 at Sharp Memorial's Rehab Unit. Again, I've been asked... maybe offered... the chance to stay the night with Jake, and the staff is kind enough to let me sleep in the 2nd hospital bed in his room. Jake has a window looking out on grass. It is not the spectacular view that he had at Mercy, but the staff has welcomed him and gone out of their way to make us all comfortable.
Wednesday, Jake will be evaluated by PT and Occupational Therapy. If it were up to Jake, he'd be back at Helix on Monday. He is chomping at the bit to get back and to finish his classes. The fact that he doesn't have a bone on the right side of his skull just might be a detriment. He wears a helmet at all times, but I'm sure there are safety regulations about kids in school with no skull covering half of their brain.
I'm home just briefly to shower, change and rush back down to be with Jake. Again.. poor Max.... he is winging it for another day or two.
I'm kicking myself for leaving the camera in Jake's new room. There are many new pictures to post, but they will have to wait a day or so. Just know that Jake is doing well. He wants to be home. He can't believe the number of people who have sent their thoughts and prayers for his recovery. And I can't either. We are all so blessed to have friends, family... strangers... people... who care.
As I left Mercy Hospital, Jake went with the ambulance transporters, I went to the car to follow. I heard over the intercom..."Code Trauma, Code Trauma----Code Trauma, Code Trauma..." and I knew that somebody else would soon be starting the same roller coaster we just disembarked. Our prayers are now with the families that follow Jake. Mercy has such a tremendous, skilled, caring and compassionate staff. I know they will do everything possible for the next patient that enters their hospital for trauma care.
And hey... I saw a piano in one of the patient lounges at the Sharp's Rehab. Tthat will really cheer Jake up. Maybe soon he'll be back working on his senior project.
me... alison.. Jake's and Max's mom.
3/1/07
Jangled!!! Frazzled!!!!! Frustrated!!!! Upset!!! FURIOUS!!!!
It took me over an hour and a half to drive the 12-14 miles from Sharp Memorial Rehab to our home in La Mesa Wedneday eve. I had intentions of getting a few errands done while Hal, Max and Grandma Marilyn stay with Jake in his room.
A Costco run was in the plans, as was a quick attempt at Jake's FAFSA for college.. due tomorrow... and of course the much needed shower ....and to write a quick update on Jake's progress. How does the saying go???? "Life happens while your are trying to plan your life." Well nothing went well tonight after leaving Jake at the hospital.
An International Soccer Game at Qualcomm threw the entire night off as the freeways were jam packed. Nobody going anywhere fast. After being on the road for an hour, I had finally reached I-8 and found a break in the traffic to get out of the lane for I-8 and take the 94 instead.
No Costco run. It was closed by the time I even reached the I-8 off ramp.
Run home.. look for pin numbers for FAFSA... no luck there. Will have to try a final time tomorrow.
I just finished writing up the daily update on Jake, but Yonder the dumb dog... crawled under the computer desk, got hung up in the wires and somehow pulled the plug on the computer. Everything I had written was gone in one dumb dog flash. She is still living... but only because I was under the desk trying to fix the computer and wasn't fast enough to catch her. Anyone want a renegade Beagle? Max may have a dissenting view, but right now, Yonder is not my favorite dog.
I've been gone for 3 hours, got nothing done at home, and everyone is waiting for me to come back to be with Jake so they can get home. Hal has work at 5:30 AM.. and Max has school. Yeah... Life happens.
On the bright side, Jake had his first day of evaluation at the Rehab Center. His plan today was to "own that Rehab place" and show them that he doesn't belong there. He just wants to come home. If he were writing his own doctor's orders, he would write to for a discharge on Friday afternoon so he can rest up over the week end and be ready to start school on Monday morning.
Not so fast Dr. Drew... You have a little more work to do. Jake actually did very well with Occupational Therapy. He proved he can brush his own teeth, dress himself and feed himself. Physical Therapy had him outside practicing using his crutches on the stairs until the rain started and drove them all back indoors. Speech Therapy had him memorizing words, reading stories and answering questions about the story and finding common themes in words given him. He aced it all. Jake is really doing so well. He is just so impatient. He wants to get back to drumline.. He longs to play baseball again... and news to me his mom... he misses his classes and wants to get back to school. He doesn't just want a "pass" to get through his classes. He wants to earn his way back and earn his way through. He's come this far and doesn't want this accident to take that away. His teachers sent homework for him to start on tomorrow. That will be the true test to see if this accident knocked the sense out of him or knocked some sense into him. He is extremely determined to get back to school soon.
And tonight... Jake made his way out to the rec room/lounge and found the piano. It was all there. Jake's ability to play the piano was all there. He complained that he was rusty. Well, get over it. The fact that Jake is playing so beautifully without ever having a piano lesson in his life.. and that he can still play beautifully when a week ago he was on the ventilator... is a gift and an amazement.
So... There is my gift for the day. Jake is playing the piano... he is acing his therapy... and even more than that, school is suddenly paramount in his determination to gather his life back together.
I'm going to make my way back up the freeway and hope that the soccer game hasn't let out yet. No more plans for the night. Life happens.
me.. alison... Jake and Max's mom
3/2/07
OK... so today is a better day. March didn't come in like a lion.. though February surely left that way. There was no traffic on the freeway coming home. Yonder the Dumb Dog is still alive and even looks remorseful for wiping out everything on the computer last night.
On my own bright side... (and you know "it's all about me").. I had a mammogram done today as a follow up to the breast cancer I had in 2003... and was told everything is clear. As stressed as I've been over the past few weeks, I really was nervous that something would show up. Thank you Dr. Ellison for giving me the good news so quickly. One stressor down.
Costco run made.
FAFSA put out of my mind. No time to get it done. Can't concentrate. It just doesn't matter. The fact that Jake's brain is still intact so he can even go to college is more than enough for me. Even as close as a week ago, we didn't even know if Jake would be able to recognize us, know who he is, or have enough brain cells left to finish high school. FAFSA- SCHMAFSA... we'll be OK. Jake has been accepted to... and intends to go to SDSU. Another stressor down.
Today Jake really worked out with PT, OT and Speech Therapy. He went outside again... this time in the sunshine, no rain... and practiced the stair climbing. Back inside the gym, Jake pedaled a bicycle machine for 10 minutes, did leg lifting exercises and abdominal exercises. End of PT.. back to his room for 10 minutes... OT came to take him back down to the gym where he did memory games and then pedaled the bike machine with his arms for 10 minutes (on highest resistance). He did just great.
Back in his room again, Jake found a HUGE card with musical notes on it. It was a card signed by the Rancho Bernardo Royal Regiment wishing him well. One of the mom's of a tenor drummer had been a patient of mine at Grossmont Hospital last year. We talked about our kids... I told her to "look for the tallest snare drummer." When she read about Jake in the paper, she was just sick and had the Rancho Bernard Band send a get well card. It included a pair of drum sticks and a drum key. Of course, the drum sticks were drumming in a matter of moments. Jake is so touched by that card, and I am so touched by my former patient remembering me and our conversation about our drummer boys. Thank you for really brightening Jake's day.
I just realized that Jake hasn't even seen the poster/card brought to the Candle Light Pep Rally by the Valhalla Drumline. Drummers really do "stick" together. I'll bring that back down to him tonight so he can hang it up in his room.
In a matter of minutes, Speech Therapy came in to give Jake a cognitive skills test....Jake likened it to an SAT test. This-is-to-that----as-that-is-to-this... etc. His Speech Therapist is a student, and her mentor made her take the same test just so she can understand what the rehab patient has to go through. At the end of what seemed like an hour of testing, she asked Jake what answer he got for one of the questions. Jake explained his reasoning for his answer and she said, "Oh yeah.. that makes sense.." But there were different ways to look at it. Hopefully Jake did well. It wasn't graded yet.
Immediately after Speech Therapy, Jake's lunch came, and by the time he was done with lunch---he was exhausted. I left him sleeping under the watchful eyes of Grandma Marilyn while I ran to my appointment and to do errands at home. Jake had an action packed morning. He wants to get back to school so badly, but didn't realize how tired he would get when up out of bed. Another dose of reality today.
And poor Max.. I had intended to pick him up after school, but got stuck at Costco and he ended up walking home. Poor little "back-burner" Max. He comes up smiling. We have a lot to make up to him. He's not asking for anything... he just wants everyone home again and for Jake to be OK.
Tonight we'll have enchiladas at the hospital together as a family... Many thanks to Tina Brady.
Many thanks to everybody. Jake hasn't been able to see his website yet, but has heard a lot about it. Soon, Jake. You'll get your chance, soon.
me..alison
3/3/07
Today Jake passed the shower test. He has been deemed safe to shower as long as he is sitting down. Even that makes me a little nervous because the helmet has to come off for him to wash his "hair"...or what is left of it. Actually, it is growing out quickly.
Jake isn't the Superman that even he--thought he was. His PT involved trying to fix the dizziness he feels when he turns his head. Something about crystals floating around than need to be shaken back to the right ear canal. Sounds to me like he has "rocks in his head." Uncle Mike always did call him, "Jacob Keegan-Box of Rocks--Drew." Guess it was a matter of foreshadowing. Little did he know that Jake would officially have that as a physical feature. After the treatment trying to fix the problem, Jake made his way back to the room and slept. He hasn't complained of a headache throughout this whole head injury ordeal, but today he had a pretty good one.
His endurance is being tested a little more each day by adding more and more activities and strengthening exercises.
Jake even tested his culinary skills by making a batch of oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. He's come a long way from pouring cereal in a bowl.
Dr. Revivo saw Jake early this morning and told him he would contact the neuro-surgeon who removed the bone from Jake's skull 2 weeks ago, and ask when he thinks the bone can be replaced. Jake is fixated on the fact that he is missing the bone in his head. It really does look deformed, and it looks moreso each day as the swelling decreases. He's got quite a sunken area where there is no bone. He repeats over and over again... "Hey Mom.. did you know that they took my bone?"
"Really?" "Wow.. that's news to me." Duh!
I've told Jake that Gracie the Baby Girl Doggie, and Yonder the Dumb Dog...both had fun chewing that bone. Jake said, "Not funny Mom."
"Where is my bone?" I told him that it is being stored in a shoebox under someone's bed. Sure hope we can find it when they're ready to put it back in. "Not funny, Mom."
Well, no... not funny, but it just doesn't seem real that they can remove the bone....store it at UCSD's Tissue Bank...and replace it at a later date. It means that Jake will have to go through another brain surgery, something that none of us relish, however it will be so good to get that brain protected again by natural forces and not just a helmet.
Jake had many visitors again today. Tiffany, Patrick, Chelsea and Brandon all came down and hung out with Jake. They played pool in the lounge and had another music fest around the piano. It's nice to see the kids have fun.
And tonight is a special night for Max. We got permission for Max to spend the night with us in Jake's room. Jake called Max before he left for school this morning and invited him to stay the night. So, as I type this note on the computer I found out is available to patient's and their families...Jake and Max are watching TV and eating cookies. It is so good for both boys to finally have some time together.
Hope they are both still in one piece when I get back down the hall to the room.
....me.....alison....jake and max's mom
3/4/07
Just a brief note tonight. Progress is about the same. Jake was expecting to be able to sleep in today, being a weekend day, but breakfast came early, followed immediately by Occupational Therapy. He spent time lifting weights and pedaling with his arms.
More cognitive testing with Speech Therapy. The room was so quiet that I took the chance to step outside and enjoy the sunshine for a few minutes so as not to disturb those thinking brain cells. Give them every chance possible to regain their smarts.
Another go around with PT in the afternoon. Each person who works with Jake tells him how very lucky he is to have come so far after having such a severe head injury. It could have been so much worse. I can see that, and I know we have been blessed with the fact that Jake is still Jake. He is a little misshapen, but inside the dent in his head.. he is still Jake through and through.
The main focus on the day was visiting with friends and family. Most of the band kids were tied up with the Solo and Ensemble Festival all day. Jake be-moaned the fact that he was missing it. Knowing how much he is missing with each passing day is really starting to get to him. He is getting impatient with the healing process. It should be faster. I told him his nickname was going to be "Shortcut." Little did I know that he would like something more like "Fast Track"... or "Speedy Gonzales."
Max stayed the night last night and will do so again tonight. It's kind of fun... if being in the hospital can be "kind of fun." For Max it is just special to be able to share part of Jake's hospital experience. OK... so he doesn't want the needles and pokes, but it sure is fun making the bed go up and down.
Tonight while Jake visited with friends here at the hospital, Max was allowed to play his trumpet with Helix's Varsity Pep Band at the Jenny Craig Pavilion for the CIF Basketball Championship. Helix won. Max played Taps for the other team. MAX!!!! Davideo brought back Max to the hospital at 10:30 PM and visited with Jake for awhile. Everyone here has been so wonderful to let these kids be kids.
Thanks to Kristen Chandler for introducing me to Sodoku. My brain is frazzled now, and I'm finding the puzzles as addicting as she warned me I would.
Good Night. The nurses keep pretty early hours here.
me... alison.. Jake and Max's mom
P.S. Jake got to see his web site for the first time a few days ago. He is very impressed with all of the people who have visited it and cannot believe so many people care about him and his progress, even people who do not know him. Thank you all, it has made a huge difference having so many people sending their love his way. A. S.
3/5/07
Sunday Afternoon
I don't know what I would do if I didn't have such wonderful friends. Max spent the night here last night, and Amy just happened to show up in the parking lot at the precise time necessary to shuttle Max back home for his baseball practice today. That was truly a big help.
I'm feeling rather worn down today. Jake had the CD's playing on his end of the room and Max was watching TV on the other end. I was in the middle working on that new addiction of mine.. Sodoku.. (KRISTEN!!!!)... and thought I'd go out of my mind. My head hurts. Too much sensory overload. I finally took a walk in the sunshine. More kids are coming to visit.
More to follow later.. I just had to get out of the room for a few minutes.
Sunday Night
We've survived a weekend here.
Everyone has been so very nice. Everyone has gone above and beyond the call of duty just to make us feel at home and allow for the throngs of kids and visitors who have come through to see Jake. Many thanks to Sharp Memorial's Rehab Unit.
Jake started working on his math homework today. He seems to understand and to be able to do the work. I was scared to death to volunteer in Jake's 6th grade math class. It was beyond me.... so this senior year math is not something I can check over to see if he is getting it right. I'll have to let the teacher do the grading.
Davideo brought notes for Jake to try to catch up on Russia and China in AP/Gov. There is going to be a lot of make up work to do. He is very anxious to get it started, yet there are times when he is just tired... and I am the one who is anxious to get him moving. I don't know if I am asking too much... or expecting too little. I just tell him that if he truly wants to get back to school, he needs to walk the walk and not just talk the talk. Today at least, he did get a start at grabbing the bull by the horns. I think he touched the end of the tail... but at least the first steps have been taken.
Tomorrow, (Monday morning) we have a conference with all of the various therapy departments, social worker, doctor, nurses, case manager... a whole slew of folks who will gather to talk about Jake and measure the progress he is making in order to develop a plan for discharge. We are still hoping that we will hear that Jake will be scheduled to get his bone flap returned to it's rightful owner...soon. (Like how about this week???) Many questions to ask tomorrow morning. I think Jake is doing fine, but we'll get a better picture after tomorrow morning. (Of course I think Jake is fine... I'm the Mom for goodness sakes.)
I've had a head ache all day, and just found my Tylenol bottle this evening. Sleep may be better medicine.
I'm looking forward to tomorrow's conference with anticipation and a little dread. Unknowns are unsettling.
Thank you Grossmont High School Drumline for writing to Jake. Drummers are great kids.
me.. alison.. Jake Drew Drummer's mom
3/6/07
NEWS FLASH-------This just in.... Jake is scheduled for surgery on Wednesday, March 7th, 2007 at 07:20---to have the bone flap replaced in his head.
It is even more than we could have hoped for. We truly hoped to have the bone replaced this week, but know that things don't happen on our wishes or our schedules. This one just happened to hit at exactly the right time.
Jake will spend Tuesday for his last night in the Sharp Memorial Rehab unit. He will do therapy sessions all day tomorrow.. then be prepared for surgery the next morning. I'm told that he will be picked up from his Rehab room early Wednesday morning... transported (more than likely via stretcher up the long connecting tunnel to Sharp Memorial)... undergo surgery and then recover at Sharp Memorial for a couple of days. If all goes well, Jake will be discharged to go home on Friday.. HOME... not another hospital. He will finally be going HOME!!!
We had a great conference this morning. It was rather intimidating. His whole team sat around a table.. sat around the room... 15 or 20 people (from what it looked like to me)... Each person took turns telling us what kind of progress they felt Jake had made. Each person told us that he had pretty much mastered anything they had given him. Even Speech Therapy.. the one piece of the puzzle that I couldn't judge for myself just by being a loving-mom-spectator...reported that Jake is cognitively intact. Everyone is very pleased--- and of course, so am I. What a relief!
The conference was followed by a visit from the NeuroPsychologist. He put Jake through over 2 hours of a battery of tests; some tests were to evaluate his physical fine motor skills, some for sensation---some for thinking and reasoning. One of the tests was to check for his finger control. He was to tap on a meter for timed seconds to see how fast he could go. It was repeated over and over again... first with his right index finger, then with his left. At the end, the Dr. said, "I've never seen anyone go that fast." I told him, maybe he had never tested a drummer before.. He should see what these kids do with chicken strips and french fries at Denny's.
Another test was to tap once with his right hand and twice with his left hand--reoeatedly in a sequence. That too was timed. He went so fast that it was hard to count. Then it was reversed.. Once with his left and twice with his right. Again.. FAST...
Of course to me, it just sounded like what I hear all the time on the table... the couch... the counter.. Jake's chest.. his legs... the washing machine... INCESSANT! OK... so Jake may have had bit of previous practice with that test, but even so.. it just goes to show..."Once a drummer... always a drummer"---even though 3 weeks ago we were warned that he may not be able to brush his teeth. Some skills must stay etched in every brain cell.
So.. until Jake got to the last test, which was a card game, I thought he was acing it. After the card game, I'm afraid he'll have to return to kindergarten. There were no rules, but he was told when he put the card in the wrong pile. I could see why he kept being told, "That card is wrong"... but Jake didn't get it. The rules changed during the game. Jake never really caught it. He can do senior Alegebra... I'm intimidated by 6th grade math... but I got the card game. We obviously function on different levels. Despite the cards, I'm sure he functions at a higher level than I do at this point. This has been a long, hard 3 weeks.
Jake met with his senior project advisor tonight at the piano in the lobby/rec room. He's still on tract there, and certainly "wowing" those who hear what he has composed.. on his own.. never having a piano lesson in his life, but very inspired by George Winston. He's hoping to perform his piece at the Helix Instrumental Department's Pop's Concert in May.
With that.. I'm going back to "our room." Another long day tomorrow. We've started packing up belongings up and moving out of room 147.
So many wonderful people have cared for us at Mercy Hospital.. here at Sharp Memorial's Rehab... at home.. and even via the internet. Jake is now able to check the website to see comments for himself. He is absolutely "blown away" by the response the website has brought, and by the numbers of people who have cared for him over this very difficult time.
We have been very blessed.
me... alison... Jake's and Max's mom
3/7/07
Tuesday Night... A bittersweet day.
Jake was awakened today to having his blood drawn in preparation for surgery tomorrow morning. He knew they'd be coming in this morning so he barely slept last night just thinking about that poke.
One by one each of his therapists put him through their tests and then said "goodbye." Jake has graduated from the Rehab unit and is ready to move on.
Tomorrow morning Jake will be wheeled by gurney down the long hallway that connects the Rehab unit to Sharp Memorial and have the bone placed back in his head. Dr. Kureshi came by this afternoon to see Jake. He is very much impressed at the progress Jake has made since he last saw him at Mercy. From what he says, Jake will more than likely spend Wednesday night in the intensive care unit. If everything goes well, he will be transferred out Thursday morning to a regular room and hopefully DISCHARGED to go HOME on Friday.
Jake is so looking forward to all of this being over. He is extrememly nervous about this surgery, though. He is fixated on the fact that he is going to have to have another IV. He is scared about having more tubes coming out of his head. He was never aware of the amount of hardware he wore in the ICU while he was in a coma. This time.. he is very aware... and very frightened.
I'm a little "un-nerved" too. Another surgery involving Jake's brain. I'm emotionally and physically exhausted. One more big hurdle to clear and then we get back to the real world.
I'll certainly keep everyone informed tomorrow as to how Jake does with his surgery. He's 6'4" tall.. He shaves (when I make him..) He has grown up.. but, he is still my baby, and I'm scared right along with him.
me.. alison... Jake's and Max's mom
Just in, Wednesday Noon
Jake made it through the surgery with flying colors. It was over by 9:45 AM, Dr. Kureshi came out to say he was resting in recovery until a bed in SICU opens up for him. They use some plates and screws to put it back together and he's good as new. Well, as good as can possibly be expected given it's less than a month since the accident. He woke up with a headache, as one can imagine, so they gave him something for the pain and he went to sleep. They have a full house at the hospital so it may be a few hours until he gets to a room. They allowed Alisoon to go sit next to him but visitors are probably not allowed today. By tomorrow he will move to a regular room and it's about a 99% chance he'll go home by Friday . HOME!
3/8/07
SURGERY DAY!!!
Little sleep last night. Jake couldn't fall asleep and neither could I. I'm worried about Jake.. Jake worried about the IV's and tubes sticking out of his head.
At 0700 AM the gurney to pick Jake up rolled down the hallway. We could see it coming from our room. The expected ...and dreaded knock at the door---and within moments, Jake was loaded on the gurney and rolling down the long tunnel to the main Sharp Memorial building for surgery. We noted how beautiful the day would be as we passed by a window in the tunnel. Sun.. a few clouds...But none of that would be enjoyed by either of us today.
We were met in the OR hold room by an RN.. the mom of a son who is also in the Helix Band... and ta da... or rat-a--tat-tat... also a drummer. Another gentleman announced to everyone that they had to take really good care of Jake because he is a Highlander. This man had graduated from Helix in 1975..
YOU KNOW... HeeeLIIIIXXXX!
I knew Jake was in good hands, but leaving him in those good hands was very, very hard. He was panicked. I knew it.. He knew it..Thankfully, he was given that magic sleeping potion. I wasn't. I sat and worried in the lobby.
I was soon joined by Amy Sanders.. and Grandma Marilyn. We all sat and worried until Dr. Kureshi came out to tell us that Jake had come through his surgery with flying colors. He even said that Jake's brain "looks pristine." That's good... I think.... Or maybe it means it hasn't been used very much. Jake is doing well.. We'll take that and be thankful.
I was allowed to sit next to Jake in the recovery room. I knew it was a privilege because that is not done very often. I truly appreciate the staff being lenient. Jake needed someone there.
We had many coincidences in the recovery room. In random conversation about helmets... skateboarders...broken bones...broken bodies.. and the importance of wearing helmets, I told the nurse about Jake running over a skateboarder who wasn't wearing a helmet or a shirt...who blew through a stop sign and under the back wheel of Jake's truck about a month after Jake had gotten his license. The nurse was incredulous.. She was just about to tell us about a 17 year old skateboarder that she had taken care of who suffered 2nd degree burns to his hands because he held onto the exhaust pipe of the pickup truck as it went over him. He only had the burns... severe road rash.. and a broken leg. This nurse had taken care of the kid Jake had run over with his truck. The night that happened, the La Mesa police officer who took the report, made a point of coming to our house to speak with Jake and be sure that he knew the accident was not his fault and there was no way he could have avoided it. The nurse talking to us told us the 17 year old skateboarder freely admitted the whole thing was his fault. Wow.. what's the chance of meeting the nurse who took care of the kid that Jake hit---both kids involved in activities that certainly required helmets ..and more importantly.. SMARTER THINKING!!!!!
All of that aside, Jake is miserable tonight. His head hurts. His head throbs. The head dressing is so tight that his ears hurt. The right side of his jaw hurts where the doctor reattached the "chewing muscle" to the replaced bone flap. His back hurts... and a little worrisome to me.. his hips hurt. I've been amazed that Jake really hasn't had too much pain in his pelvis area despite the broken bones through out his rehab and just general getting around. Today.. he was really hurting. Jake never complains about anything. When he does complain.. I know he means it. Today... Jake complained. The Fentanyl, the Dilaudid, the Vicodin, the Morphine.. all took the edge off, but not for long, and not enough to really get some relief. He dozed.. he woke up hurting.. He was medicated.. He dozed.. He woke up throbbing.. He was medicated...
At about 6:30 PM tonight, a bed in SICU finally opened up for Jake. He was moved from the recovery room across the hall and settled in for the night. Jake is stable. His vital signs are great. He is being medicated for the pain. He has a TV that was wheeled in to be at the end of the bed. Jake is miserable.
I left at 11 PM tonight. If I didn't need sleep, food, a shower.. and most importantly---to get Max off to school in the morning...the first morning in almost 2 weeks... I would have stayed sitting in the plastic folding chair right beside Jake's bed. He didn't want me to go. I didn't want to go. And I feel so guilty for leaving.
As I was dragging myself away from the bed... fix his pillow.. one more bite of ice chips... arrange the bedside table so he could reach his water bottle and his Caramex for his lips.. I told him "goodnight." He told me to hurry up and come back.
It is all bittersweet. I know that when he has recovered from this, he'll go back to being Independent Jake. My emotions are very mixed. I love having him actually want to have me there----to need me. I know that will change...but I also know the fact that he wants me there means that he is scared---he is anxious---he is uncomfortable---he is frightened---he feels that things are out of his control---not something an 18 year old wants to experience or admit.
A CT scan of the head will be done early Thursday morning. If all goes well, Jake will be transferred out of SICU and into a regular bed Thursday afternoon.
Stay tuned.... this has become a never ending saga.
me.. alison.. Jake's mom
3/9/07
1st Post Op Day.
I called SICU to check on Jake at 1:30 AM. He was awake. His nurse, Chandelle.. had just given him more pain medication for the pounding headache. She let me talk to him. Chandelle did Jake's neuro checks by asking him baseball questions. He got a real baseball fan for his nurse, and she really took great care of Jake. He told me he was doing OK.. but hurry up and get back.
As soon as Max rode his bike off to school, I did just that... I hurried back. When I got to Jake's bedside, he was asleep with a tea bag over his right eye. "Not his cup of tea." It was a therapeutic way of treating the progressive swelling of his eye. He awoke a few minutes after I got there and asked me, "what took me so long?" Of course, once I was there, I was the go-pher... Go fer this, go fer that. Hmmmmnn.
His headache pain has still been pretty strong throughout the day, requiring Vicodin and Morphine routinely to keep the pain in check.
Jake did well with Physical Therapy. Occupational Therapy signed him off... he's beyond need for their help. Dr. Revivo was glad to see how well he pulled through this final hospital hurdle.
Jake received a tremendous gift today, compliments of Adele King's son, Kevin and his girl friend, Monica. Kevin sent a card to the Padres training camp in Peoria telling them about Jake's accident and that he is a baseball player. He asked if the team would sign a card for Jake. They did and they sent it back for Kevin to bring down to Jake personally. (Sorry Kevin... I would have loved for you to be able to give it to Jake yourself, but he was still in SICU and sleeping at the time you came.) When Jake did wake up, he was amazed.. awestruck to see that he had been sent a card signed by Trevor Hoffman, Jake Peavy, Khalil Greene, David Wells, Clay Hensley, Bud Black, and Gregg Maddox. Wow! His nurse from last night, Chandelle got to see the card just before Jake was moved upstairs. She drooled.
Beds are tight through out the hospital. It was almost 7:30 PM before a bed opened up for Jake on the 9th floor. This was really special for Jake. He can't wait to get back to playing baseball.
Dr. Kureshi saw Jake in SICU just before he was sent upstairs. He's not surprised by the swelling of Jake's eye.. and face. All to be expected. Without telling Jake what he was doing, he pulled the Hemovac drain from his head. Jake almost screamed. After Dr. Kureshi left, he kept telling me over and over again how much that hurt. "Oh my God.. That really hurt." Dr.Kureshi did exactly the right thing by not telling Jake that he was going to remove the drain before he pulled it. The pain would have been the same, and Jake would have stewed over getting that drain out all day if he knew about the plan ahead of time. I think the proper descriptive term is ---Jake would have "freaked out" had he known Dr. Kureshi was going to pull that drain while he was awake. I think he thought he'd go back to surgery to get it removed. Gee... just wait til the stitches have to come out of his suture line. That pain has now calmed down. He's back to "just" the throbbing, pounding headache.
Things look very good for tomorrow being "D" day.. (Discharge Day). Hopefully Jake will be home and sleeping in his own bed tomorrow night.
I'm home briefly to do a few errands, but will run back down to stay with Jake again this one last night in the hospital.
As for Max... The Helix Varsity Pep Band has been very good to him. Again tonight he was allowed to sit with the Pep Band and play his trumpet along with them for the CIF Basketball Championships. I just heard that Helix won. You Know HeeeLLLiXX !! Thanks Davideo, Kevin, Sam, Patrick.. and Mr. Quiroz for letting Max be part of the band. He loves Jake's friends and feels so big to be around them...especially now with Jake so hurt.
We've been watching the big lottery winners from last night getting their pictures taken with their giant oversized checks ---
We don't have that big check to show for it... but we know with all of our hearts that we won the lottery. Every nurse and doctor has told him that he is a miracle. With the type of accident he had... his outcome could have been so very different. We are extremely fortunate to have Jake back in "Jake" mode. He is the same kid, with the same talents. I can't wait for his hips to heal so we can watch him play baseball again.
Yep... we really won the lottery.
me.. alison.. Jake and Max's mom
3/10/07
JAKE UPDATE.... WE'RE HOME!!!
This truly is "D" Day. After a rather miserable night contending with his splitting headache, we were visited early this morning by Dr. Kureshi. He asked Jake if he wanted to go home today and Jake quickly replied..."Oh Yeah!! I can't wait to sleep in my own bed."
I was a little concerned about the low grade temperature Jake started running last night. He began feeling cold and looked like he was chilling. OK...I wasn't liking that too much.. At 0400 his temperature was 100.7 orally. I asked Dr. Kureshi if I should be concerned, and he allayed my fears. "That's nothing." And I thought back to just 2 short weeks ago when Jake was going through his "re-entry" phase and his temp went up to 104.4 in just a matter of 10 minutes. After watching Jake go through being put on a cooling mattress at 4 degrees Centigrade... and having water squirted on him with a fan blowing over his chest....all the time I was so cold it was hard to stand there with him---I realized.. yeah, this is nothing. He's been much worse. I'll just keep an eye on him at home.
We had a surprise visit from Andrew Lee from the "Infamous Calendar Committee" that I was part of last year. He told Jake that his story had touched his family and had gotten all around his children's school at Fletcher Elementary. He and Jake talked about baseball and coaching styles........(leave it at that)...... and then suggested that Jake come to help teach pitching to his team. Sounds good, but not until Jake can walk without crutches.
At 12:30 we had been given our discharge instructions, were packed up---and Jake got the "taxi" service (wheelchair) escort out the front doors of the hospital. He was soon seated in the car...(SEATBELT ON)... and we were off. Just 3 weeks and 5 days after the accident that changed our lives, we were going home to heal and start over again.
Jake got out of the car, crutched his way upstairs to go to bed. There waiting in his room were Patrick and Kevin.. With Jake there, 3 of the 4 culprits who left our house to go play pool that February 11th day...but got sidetracked when they came across a plastic tobaggon at Patrick's house..were reunited. We just need Max to make the foursome, but he was still in school. It was such a good sight to see those kids all together again...joking likes kids do...trying to get back to normal. Both Patrick and Kevin are considering centering their Senior Project next year around Jake's accident. They were all there together. None of them thought that those few minutes of fun would turn into something so horrific as what happened to Jake. Patrick wants to speak to Middle Schools and Elementary Schools to get the message out that you have to think smart. You're not invincible. Kevin is considering putting together some sort of a documentary about what happened for his project. I certainly have documented this episode with pictures all along the way. I told both of them I'd be happy to be their "Senior Advisor"... I love both of these kids. They are great kids. They have always made me feel appreciated and included. Heck.. I have lived this nightmare for weeks. I think I can help. I think it would be wonderful if this moment of "not thinking smart" ... would serve as a testimony to others and hopefully save another family from experiencing the heartache we have.
I made a Von's run as soon as Jake settled into bed to get his prescription for pain medication filled. It was a comfortable feeling to roam those aisles again with my coupons. It's been awhile since I've done anything except sit at Jake's bedside in the hospital. It was nice to see friends again and receive their well wishes for Jake's speedy recovery. Everyone has been so nice.. so wonderful. I couldn't have gotten through this without everyone's help...even just that boost at Von's from Lisa, Karen, and Joanie.
As I write this, it is 8 PM... Jake has been sleeping but is awake now. His temperature is 101.6 orally. Should I panic.. or just wait it out? The nurse in me can find excuses for why his temp is up... The mom in me is scared that there is infection somewhere. The nurse in me says give the pain medication... it has Tylenol in it and will help take the fever down. The mom in me wants to call 911.
Jake is swollen, he looks like an alien. He's a far cry from the handsome face in his senior picture, but Jake looks beautiful to me. He's breathing on his own and brushing his own teeth. Hey.. life if good.
Jake looks forward to sleeping the night through without hearing beeping IV's... overhead pages...vital signs to be taken....and round the clock assessments. He'll be in his own bed, in comfortable--familiar surroundings. I think I'll sleep well too... with my hand on the phone ready to call paramedics if his temp doesn't go down.
Good Night..
me..alison.. Jake's and Max's mom.
3/11/07
First full day at home...after first full night of sleeping in his own bed. Jake woke up with a temperature of 101 degrees orally again. He ached and chilled and the pounding, throbbing headache continues. Maybe the root memories of all those years of drumming contributes to the pounding in his head. I know that I often feel a throbbing, pounding headache when the drums get going here at full force.
Jake slept in until 9:30 AM. He had hoped to go see Max play his last basketball game, but with the temperature, the chilling, and the pain....I nixed that idea. It didn't take too much persuasion to convince him to stay in bed. Back to sleep again for another 2 hours, until the Vicodin kicked in and he was able to come downstairs to eat fresh fruit and jello. He has not been nauseated throughout this whole ordeal, but he has certainly not had an appetite since this last surgery.
I've missed most of Max's basketball season this year and it makes me feel so guilty. The first few games missed were because I was watching Jake play baseball in Helix's Winterball season. The last of the games missed were because I was with Jake at the hospital. Max goes on... he's OK... most of the time he is always OK.. but I feel just sick that I've had to choose between kids activities. These last few weeks were unavoidable. Hal has been there for Max. Max doesn't complain. I just feel sick.
Today was Helix's first Drumline Competition. The kids had an early call time which meant that Jake had a quieter day for visitors. Sam Pullman came up and sat with Jake after Sam took his SAT test. Both kids felt pressure in their heads. Jake thought about the drumline competition all day and called to leave a voice mail with Patrick to wish them well and tell them he wishes he could be there with them. Tiffany called me tonight to tell me that Helix took 2nd out 6. She was so proud and wanted Jake to know. I told her I thought I'd keep that a secret. If they did so well without Jake, he'd feel like he wasn't needed anymore. NOT!!!! Congratulations to HeeLLiiXXX !!!!
So...as we end our first day home, I still feel shell shocked. It's hard to focus on anything except Jake. He and Max have been bickering which is not what I expected or feel like I can tolerate. Max, I think, is feeling a little uneasy with the amount of attention Jake has been getting and takes it out with a "bad ass" (pardon my language) attitude with Jake. Jake has little patience with "attitude" and gets upset with Max. Both of them have been hurt. Max's hurt just doesn't show on the outside like Jake's injuries do. And meanwhile, I'm trying to appease both. This is a harder day than I expected. Geeeezzze Louise!!!!! With Hal and Max home.. I escaped to run errands. I got lost in Wal-Mart.
Today though...we experienced how tremendous people can be. Our neighbor Carlye, and Jenny from down the hill and another beautiful little girl made a lemonade stand and sold lemonade and chocolate candy to benefit Jake. Late this afternoon they knocked on the door and brought in a handful of money... $11.00, and gave it to Jake. I could have cried. How sweet is that? Kids helping kids... I was so touched and so was Jake. And on a side note.. thanks to our wonderful neighbor Phyllis who donated the bulk of the money the girls made for Jake. Phyllis.. Jake will be back soon mowing your yard and taking out your trash cans. Max will fill in. This campsite here has always been "one campsite two tents"... your tent is our ranger station.
And Jake's temperature is down to 99.6 orally. I haven't had to dial 911 yet. Though I am a nurse and have been for almost 30 years, with Jake home now, his care and the decisions about when to call the doctor rests on my shoulders. I've never been a mom who panics and calls the doctor after office hours. I handle things until either the office opens, or the illness subsides. This time though, has pretty high stakes. I don't want to gamble and find that I should have placed that call. Tonight Jake's swelling has dropped from his upper face to his lower jaw. His headache subsides for a spell then comes back with a vengeance. Overall though, he seems better and is talking about going to watch the Helix baseball team play next week and to watch the drumline practice. He really wants to get back into the swing of things. I do too.
He has truly taken a "Shortcut." His recovery has certainly been on the "fast track." But it has felt like a long road and we have further miles to travel.
me...alison... Jake's and Max's mom
3/12/07
Daylight Savings Time...no place to go...what a good excuse to take advantage of a Sunday morning and finally sleep in.
I had gotten up at 2:15 AM to medicate Jake for his headache. Hal gave him more pain meds at 0800, but Jake actually slept until 1PM...(noon yesterday, but with today's time change, it was 1PM.) His temperature is down to 99 degrees orally. His bed was soggy because the temperature broke during the night. It has stayed down all day, so I'm hoping that phase is past. It didn't take much encouragement to get Jake in the shower. He made it way into the bathroom balancing a clean shirt and shorts on his crutches...and meanwhile, I changed his bed.
Coupons were expiring at Costco... Max had baseball practice...I took a leap of faith and told Hal to make sure that Jake was sitting downstairs in the rocker in front of the TV when he took Max to baseball, just in case I didn't get home before they left. I would be along behind them in just minutes. The door to the driveway was open...Jake had his cellphone in his hand...and was actually alone in the house for about 15 minutes. And guess what? He was still breathing when I drove up. I was very uneasy leaving him, but when I got home--he was playing the guitar. It was almost like things were back to normal.
At 2:15 today, we marked the 4 week anniversary of the day Jake, Max, Kevin, and Patrick left to play pool but got side tracked by a plastic toboggan. The accident happened exactly 4 weeks ago today. So much has happened. So much heartache...So many miracles..So much to be thankful for.
We had a thrown together meal with the Chandlers and Amy and Brandon Sanders. "My other son, Jake" and Davideo came by to check out Jake's head.
Jake's headache doesn't leave him for long. Voices hurt his ears, dogs barking makes him cringe. I don't think he had every really had more than one or two headaches before this all happened, but for Jake, this throbbing, pounding headache is getting old. Jake is learning to move slowly. Rest a lot...and again.. worrisome to me, he counts the hours until he can get the pain medication to bring him relief.
Davideo brought Jake his uniform for drumline. They all still have hopes that Jake will be able to rejoin them and finish off the season. Of course, the season started yesterday for the Drumline. Jake won't be able to march and carry a snare drum...and play...while he is still on crutches. Just a little too many things to coordinate at once. He is hoping though, that he will be able to play his snare on a stand. Something should be able to be worked out. I think there is a saying about that..."Where there's a will there's a way......"
Tomorrow, Monday morning, Jake sees Dr. BonGiovani, the Trauma Orthopedic Dr. who is following Jake's pelvic fractures. Hopefully the bones have started to heal over these past 4 weeks. We're looking forward to that appointment in the morning.
Every day is a day of healing. Every day he gets closer to the Jake he was in the morning 4 weeks ago... and further from the Jake he became that afternoon.
me...alison... Jake's and Max's mom..
3/13/07
This is the first school day in weeks that I have been home to get Max off to school. It was uneventful... he ate his oatmeal and then off he rode on his bike to school with Dakota along side. Things are beginning to feel a smidgeon like "normal." (Not that I can say we ever have "normal" around here.)
Once Max was off, it was time to get Jake moving and ready for his follow up appointment for his pelvic fractures. He was harder to get moving than Max was. His head hurt. He wanted to wait just a few more minutes...then just a couple of more minutes... then in a minute... before getting into the shower. I wanted to get an early start since I didn't know exactly where the Dr.'s office was that we were going to... and I learned from the weeks we spent at Mercy, that parking in that area is challenging, to say the least. By the time we actually got going, we were almost late. I parked in the only place I knew to park but that put us down a hill. We could either walk way back to the back entrance and then back track down the halls, up the elevator and to the front of the hospital....OR...gee... those stairs look like they'll come right out to where we want to be. Jake looked at the stairs---thought about crutching it down the parking lot and through the hospital--but decided the stairs were probably an easier option. He attacked those stairs slowly and deliberately..all 105 of them. We made it to the appointment just in the nick of time. Jake was exhausted. Of course, after we were checked in and ushered to the doctor's office, the nurse asked if I had Jake's X-rays. Cringe... "Yes.. they are in the back of the car.. I'll be right back." Run, run, run across the street, through the ER parking lot.. and down 105 stairs... Grab the X-rays and run back up 105 stairs ....retracing my steps. Record time. I handed the nurse the X-rays. Pant, pant, pant.
Dr. BonGiovani was pleased with Jake's progress. The infamous X-ray he looked over showed some good healing. He released some of the restrictions Jake had. He still has to be on crutches for the next 4 weeks, but he is now allowed to put 50 pounds of pressure on his right leg. It's a step. Anything is a step. The plan is for Jake to use crutches for 4 more weeks and then he'll be allowed to actually walk as usual. I could tell Jake's wheels were already turning. He planned to get right back into pitching in 4 weeks. Dr. BonGiovani popped that bubble. No jumping or running for another 4-6 weeks after that. He didn't actually say "no pitching" though.
Another positive step is that he is ordering "aqua therapy" so Jake can use the pool to exercise his muscles without putting a strain on them. I'll try to get that set up at Grossmont Hospital's heated pool in the next day or two. Jake is a lucky kid.
I was kinder to Jake when we left the doctor's office to return home. I left Jake at the entrance to Mercy and I ran back down the 105 stairs by myself...got the car and picked Jake up at the top of the hill. Curbside service. He even thanked me.
We got home and Jake made a bee line for his bed. He was worn out.
I think Jake's demeanor seems different from the way he was before the bone was replaced to the way he is now. Everything seems to bother him. "Don't touch my head. Don't touch my shoulder...Don't talk so loud.....YONDER stop BARKING!!!!.... When Jake came out of his coma, it took just a few days for Jake to become Jake again. He really took the "Shortcut." We were told that having the bone replaced in his skull was a "piece of cake." He has done well, but this hasn't been a piece of cake. His head just doesn't quit throbbing. The Vicodin dulls the pounding, but he is trying to space the Vicodin further apart. Regardless of whether he takes just plain Tylenol or if he takes Vicodin, his headache is always present. He gets his best relief when he sleeps, but even that time in bed brings different complaints. His back hurts from laying in one spot....His muscles ache...he needs to stretch.
Tomorrow neither of us have to go anywhere. I'm hoping he'll be able to sit at the table for even 30 minutes to work on some of the homework he has to do. He still insists he'll be ready to go back to school next week. Helix is a big campus, and those 105 stairs whooped him today. We have some more stamina building to do before he gets back into real life.
More visitors came through today. Chelsea is back from Hawaii. Sam and Kevin stopped in, and Jake was happy to see 2 members of the baseball team. Zach Tonida and Jeremy Peterson came by. Jake has his jersey that was signed by the team, hanging on the outside of his closet door. He wouldn't let me take it home from the hospital until the last night when he was in SICU after his bone was replaced. That baseball jersey and ball cap and baseball signed by the team has been in his room since they were presented to us the night of the Candlelight Pep Rally. He wants to rejoin the team so bad!
We had a wonderful pot roast dinner from the crock pot tonight courtesy of Joanie..."my other son, Jake's" mom. It was delicious. Thank you so much for your kindness. I'm stuffed.
You know the worst part about being so rushed and behind time this morning when we left for the doctor's office? I forgot the camera. Me...the one who documents everything....left the camera on the charger by the computer. Believe me.. if I would have had that camera with me this morning, you all would have seen Jake ascending those 105 stairs on his crutches. That was amazing. See... don't mess with mom when I tell you to hurry up. Pay backs are......
me...alison.. Jake's and Max's mom
3/14/07
A slow and rather frustrating start to the morning. As I woke Max up to get ready for school, I also woke Jake up to take 2 more Vicodin in hopes of staying ahead of the thundering herd that stomps through his head all day.
After Max got off to school, I intended to get Jake up and downstairs for some breakfast and to start some homework. However.. once again I was brushed away with, "Not yet... just a few more minutes.. My head still hurts."
God help me.. I'm getting frustrated with trying to get this very motivated kid.. motivated again. I don't think I would call Jake depressed... but he is almost flat in his approach to getting back to where he was before the bone flap was replaced last week. Again, that may be jaded on my part, because Jake's post injury motivation seemed more than it was even before he took the toboggan ride. I have been so impressed with his will to get back into his life, that now...not quite a week post op..and just 4 days home from the hospital, I want him to keep up the push to resume his school work and get back to what was his norm. He just hasn't had that same push since we got home from the hospital. The headache and the medication to dull the headache...has zapped his strength.
When he wasn't ready to get up yet, I went back downstairs and started making calls that needed to be made. I spoke with the Physical Therapy department at Children's Hospital where he will be integrating PT to regain his general strength, along with some therapy to work on his pitching arm. He still hopes to get back to baseball as soon as he is cleared by the Orthopedic Dr. When that clearance comes, Jake wants to be ready. So... for me, my job is getting that set up. Faxing the prescription...speaking to the therapist.. setting the dates. All while precious Jake slept upstairs.
Cynthia, one of Jake's classmates stopped by after her classes to tell Jake about Humanities. Grandma Marilyn and Aunt Merline came too. Kristin Kjaero came over and brought wonderful chicken and mashed potatoes for dinner. We all enjoyed the breeze as we sat around the table and chatted. It is such a nice day.. such nice weather, that is almost seems like this should be a carefree day. To a point, it is... but there sits Jake with his head in his hands talking about wanting to start his classes again---I know that I need to get back to work at the hospital--- yet, all the talk and all the planning has once again ended up with Jake's head on a pillow looking for a little pain relief. Jake has never been a complainer. Growing up, he never complained about anything... if he did, I knew he wasn't kidding. I'm not used to Jake complaining...and now that he is ... I know he isn't kidding.
This evening, Max's Grossmont Pony League team played their first baseball game of the season. We arrived a little late, but Jake did get up and come down to the field with me to watch Max play. It was Jake's old stomping grounds. The Grossmont Pony Field is where he held the record for most home runs. I could tell that Max was looking to see if Jake would be there... and when he saw Jake sitting there watching him hit, he looked determined. First pitch.. and Max made a great hit to right field. We all cheered. Max was able to score on a triple hit by the batter up behind him. He came across home plate with a big smile on his face and looked over to see Jake's approval. Great job Max!
Jake had many well wishers at the field. The adults were just glad to see how well Jake looked. The kids kind of averted their eyes. Those big baseball seam scars on either side of his head look frightening. The morning of Jake's surgery last week, I asked Dr. Kureshi if he could be sure that Jake has 108 stitches just so that he could qualify for a "professional baseball." Heck.. if you're going to look like a 2 seam fastball... you might as well have the proper amount of stitches to be "professional." The stitches aren't red though like a real baseball, but believe me... he looks pretty much like a baseball head.
Jake's stamina is still down. It was good that he ventured outdoors, but the trip did tire him. We ate the chicken, mashed potatoes and broccoli that Kristin brought over this afternoon. Jake showered.. and is getting ready for an earlier bedtime tonight.
The day started out frustrating for me. I hate to see Jake just lay down and suffer through a headache, but I keep thinking he may feel better if he just pushes a little more each day. By the end of today, Jake did say that the pounding in his head has been less today than yesterday. That is just about all I can hope for... Better today than yesterday.. Better yet tomorrow....
me...alison...Jake's and Max's mom.
3/15/07
We have been trying to play our own game of catch-up since coming home from the hospital. Bills need to be paid...and I've searched boxes to find them....appointments need to be made.. and I've spent much time on the phone... and today, one month after we had first scheduled our tax appointment...Hal and I drove to Santa Ana to get our taxes done. See...I thought I was really on the ball when I made the first appointment. It was for February 14th, a day that I was scheduled off from work. The intent was to get the taxes done promptly so I'd have the information on hand to fill out the FAFSA forms. All of that changed on February 11th when I got that frantic call from Max that Jake was "really, really hurt." Jake was still intubated and having some severe threats with his unstable intracranial pressure on February 14th. We cancelled our appointment, but today finally got that taken care of.
I woke Jake up at 0800 to give him 2 Extra Strength Tylenol tablets instead of the Vicodin. Once Max had ridden off to school, Grandma Marilyn came down to sit with Jake while Hal and I drove up to do our taxes. Jake reports that he had a better day. His headache, though still made it's presence known, was more bearable today. He was able to finish 3 Algebra assignments and he spoke to Mrs. Lewcock, his A/P Government teacher to get some direction for assignments for her class. There is so much to make up, but Jake is still very optimistic that he'll be able to do it.
Jake was proud of himself that he only took one nap today. It is my sincere hope that things will be even better tomorrow.
Little by little, we are making a dent in the "to do's" that didn't get done while "we" were in the hospital, and little by little we are tackling the list of follow up appointments and therapies that need to be made. Tiffany and Patrick came over today. B.J. and Tina also came to check Jake over.. Our wonderful neighbors, the Chandlers.. who occupy the other tent in our campsite. (One campsite---two tents.) are just a stone's throw away and always there to help, and then there is Amy and Brandon, who have been incredibly helpful throughout this ordeal...."I love you Brandon." ....(a long running joke that started when Brandon was in 3rd grade...and easily teased....Just a tad bigger now.. but still fun to tease... I do "love you Brandon."
We enjoyed a wonderful 4 cheese pasta casserole brought to us by Lisa Lecko. It is one of her son Alex's favorite dinners. I'm hoping we can talk him into sharing the recipe. It was a hit. To be honest, I think Hal and the boys are really enjoying having food brought in for us. I work the PM shift and am gone many evenings. They have all learned to fend for themselves and do so very well.....just as long as I have enough milk in the refrigerator and boxes of cereal in the cupboard. This "real food" is a treat. . Hey wait.. You don't think they'll get so spoiled that they'll expect me to start cooking, do you? Oh man!... they may get used to real food and want more than my signature cereal dishes.
To sum up the day... it was a little better. Jake has a little more sparkle back in his eyes and is beginning to act on his determination to get back to school. The headache is slightly better, and slightly better is certainly better than slightly worse. We celebrate anything positive.
me...alison.. Jake's mom
3/16/07
Jake slept better last night. I'm trying a new strategy for the daytime pain relief. This morning I woke Jake up at 0800 to give him Ibuprofen for his headache instead of the Vicodin. The Vicodin makes him groggy and for some reason, Jake feels the Extra Strength Tylenol when I give it to him. He explains that it makes him feel "loopy." That is just plain Tylenol. So, today I changed him over to Advil (Ibuprofen) and he seems to be getting the necessary relief.
Jake dozed while he waited for it to take effect. Meanwhile I took the van over to have the brakes worked on.. walked home... Then picked up Angie from Discount Tires and took her to Lemon Ave Elementary.. Then took both Yonder and Gracie to have their vet check and get their vaccinations updated so I can get their dog licenses.. Then went to get Jake's truck smogged so I can get it's license.. But the guy was out to lunch.. so I ran to the bank and to do a few errands in the mean time, but when I got back .. the guy was back from lunch and many cars were in front of me.. so I waited over an hour to get the truck tested. All for naught, because despite the fact that it passed the emissions test, the "check engine" light came on so I have to get that fixed first and then bring the truck back to have the smog test repeated..all over again. CAN YOU SAY ---"WASTED THE DAY?????" There is just so much to do to catch up on what wasn't done while Jake was in the hospital....Doing it is one thing, but spinning your wheels is another.
Jake, on the other hand is doing better. He finished the algebra homework that was sent home for him to do. He's really hoping to be able to take the Final Exam next week. Me..."Just-a-Mom-who really doesn't know anything".. is not confident that he'll be ready. But, Jake, "Shortcut---aka---Fast Track" Drew..thinks that he is ready to face just about anything. If Jake thinks he can handle the work, then I guess I shouldn't stand in the way. Jake has been through more than most anyone of us have ever thought of going through in our lifetime... and somehow he feels like he is ready to go on with life. Good job Jake... but for me.. I've been shell-shocked and don't think I am ready for much of anything yet.. except to catch up...all the while spinning those wheels in reverse..
Max had rehearsal tonight at Faith Chapel. For the first time in weeks, I was able to take him, and I was able to hear the music they are working on. I am so impressed. The music is beautiful. Max is such a great kid. He just goes along as if everything is OK.
Jake and Hal went to 24 Hour Fitness to begin a little bit of a gym work out. I wasn't pleased because they went during the hour that Max was rehearsing at Faith Chapel. Max wanted to go so bad.. just to be part of Jake's recovery process. But neither Hal nor Jake waited for the little brother. I'm upset.
Jake did get to attend a drumline rehearsal at Helix tonight. I'm told that everyone welcomed him back. The camera still sits on the charger.. No pictures taken of that.
Do I sound upset? Yeah.. I guess that I am. I'm trying so hard to take care of Jake, and all the while trying to get things done that need to be done--- that needed to be done while he was in the hospital. I feel guilty when I leave him---and I feel useless when I return to find that he was just fine while I was gone. Tonight would have been a big night in my books. I would have loved to see Jake finally get back to his drumming buddies. Instead, I wasn't needed. See?.. it's all about me again... I would have loved to take pictures. I would have loved to have been there to see Jake show up at his drumline rehearsal and then bring Max along with him to work out at the gym. I write all kinds of scenarios in my head, but no one follows the scripts that I write.
Jake is getting better. Today was a big step. I missed it.
me... alison.. MAX and Jake's mom.
3/17/07
The Advil strategy worked...or Jake's headaches are getting better. One of the two.. This morning I gave Jake the Advil, and it has held him throughout this day.
Jake had his first Physical Therapy appointment at Children's this morning. The same therapist, Kelly, had evaluated Jake in late January for his pitching arm. A lot has changed between then and now. One of the phone messages I had early on in Jake's hospitalization was a request to call to make some follow up therapy appointments. I heard that message and thought.."moot point"... Jake is in a coma and on a ventilator. I don't think they'll be able to do much with his pitching arm right now.
Two more messages were left over the weeks that Jake was in the hospital. I mentioned this to Dr. Revivo, the doctor who assumed Jake's care at Sharp Memorial's Rehab unit. In the realm of "hey.. what a small world..." we found out that Dr. Revivo's office is at Children's Hospital in the same place where Jake went for a "Motion Analysis Clinic" in mid January. When I showed Dr. Revivo a picture of Jake at the clinic with all the glowing spheres taped to him, Dr. Revivo lit up and remembered Jake coming through...It was only a month earlier. That tall strapping kid who went through the Motion Analysis Clinic was the same kid now in his care with the severe head injury....broken pelvis.. and 20 pounds lighter. I was initially upset that Jake had to go to Sharp Memorial's Rehab unit and not Grossmont Hospital's, but there is a reason for everything, and Jake being transferred to Sharp's Rehab was a blessing. Jake ended up under the care of Dr. Revivo...and he was able to discuss the arm pain with the person who ran the Motion Analysis. There is some thought that the arm pain in his right bicep, just above his elbow, may be related to the drumming that he does. When he is drumming, his arms are always taught and flexed--- when he is pitching his right arm fully extends. It makes sense that one action may affect another. In looking for a bright side to this whole drama, I've wondered if the crutches that Jake has to use to prevent him from putting too much weight on his right leg due to his fractured pelvis.. may just be the therapeutic strengthener and stretching exercise for his right pitching arm.. There just has to be a reason for all of this. Every circle touches another. Maybe in a long, round about way, these pelvic and head injuries which are certainly temporary, may be the answer to the nagging pitching arm discomfort. But what a huge ordeal to go through, just to find a treatment for a small nagging problem. Jake never takes the easy way out.
Long story short.. or short story... long... Jake is back at the same place he started out for therapy in January, only now there is much more to work on. But, the good news is that all of the therapies will be integrated together. His therapist told him today, that he had brought himself down to baseline with his injury and now they'd be able to work up more evenly. She had Jake doing sit ups and arm stretches on with a rubber stretching band. He was on a machine that he had to do pull ups against gravity. It was an hour workout... most of it was to evaluate his physical condition... and at the end of the hour, Jake was exhausted. He said the he really had a rude awakening as to how weak he had become since his injury. A true case in humility. He has a lot of work to do to get back to where he was.
Jake also talked to Mrs. Milburn today to clear him coming back to school next week. Jake realizes that next week is finals, but he wants to at least get his foot back in the water. Even if he just gets more assignments to do over Spring Break, then he'll be closer to getting back up to speed with the rest of his class. He also paid for his A/P test...optimistically hoping that he'll be able to study enough to pass the test. That would be a true testament to the power of determination...and the power of prayer and positive thoughts...if this kid who was on a ventilator...went through 2 craniotomies, and a 3rd surgery to replace the bone in his skull... could pull himself back together to pass an A/P test. We'll see. I'd love to see that happen, but if he doesn't pass it, I guess I'll just have to be happy that he tried. Afterall, we were told he would have to be re-taught to brush his teeth.
And tonight, Jake and I went down to Grossmont High School to see Helix's Wind Symphony perform He was warmly welcomed by the parents. The kids of course, were competing and couldn't talk to Jake. We left as soon as Helix finished with their performance and were later told that they received "Unanimous Superiors." They deserve it. The band played beautifully. Congratulations Helix!
me.. alison... Jake and Max's mom
3/18/07
Happy St. Patrick's Day.. I like to celebrate the day, though never thought of ourselves at Irish..and certainly claim no "leprechauns" in our family, with Jake at 6'4" and Max already 5'10" and he just turned 13 years old. And come to think of it, I did have to MAKE the kids wear green today just to play along with the festivities.
We toured San Diego State University today for their Open House. Jake found out how truly exhausting it is to walk across campus on a pair of crutches. He saw "Sandy" in the music department and is arranging for an audition...just a few weeks late. Jake should have auditioned in February, but he was on a ventilator and in a coma... The stitches that still line his head were testimony to the fact that he is a walking miracle. They were a better excuse than "the dog ate my homework."
Jake enjoyed listening to the Jazz Band perform on the steps of the music department. Jazz is right up his ally. But it was plain to see that by the time he reached the music building..he was almost too tired to enjoy the music.
Jake ran into Michael Frice and other friends as we walked over to the athletics department. Michael was going to check out the dorms that face the Tony Gwynn Stadium. Jake just looked longingly at Tony Gwynn Stadium. He has literally grown up there. He had just completed the Tony Gwynn Hitting Camps that were held every Monday Night since early January.. In fact the last two Monday night camps were cancelled due to rain ----very convenient for Jake since he was on the ventilator. Jake didn't know it at the time, but he didn't miss a hitting session. Several of his Monday night hits went out to the 410 wall and bounced off. The kid has such power. Today though, he just looked at the field and felt depleted. The walk from the car...across campus.. and back to the baseball field took everything he had. His other friends were laughing and were obviously in a different place than Jake was. Today, Jake hurt. Not so much physically, but emotionally and psychologically. Today he saw what he still hopes will be his future. He wants to play for Tony Gwynn. He wants to play baseball. Looking out at the baseball field, he felt sick. That moment of indiscretion.. that moment of not thinking.. that moment of doing what the kids thought was such fun...riding a toboggan behind a pick up truck...is having such overwhelming consequences and Jake is now starting to realize the severity of what he may miss out on. Yes, he was the complete package. He had a great grade point average, he had good looks, he had musical talent, and he had athletic gifts. Then, things changed. This time of not thinking caught up with him, and he is paying the price. I could see it in his eyes, his face, the way his shoulders slumped over the crutches. If he could just take that moment in February back again and be whole again... The other kids who were with Jake that day have all gone on with their lives, including Max...yet Jake is still trying to pick up the pieces.
But, Jake is still Jake. He is still a handsome young man despite the "2 seam fast ball" stitches on either side of his head. His hair is already growing back in. Soon it will be long enough to cover the scars. The swelling in his face has decreased dramatically. He can still play the piano, the drums, his guitar. The severe head injury that required 3 surgeries---a medically induced coma---a ventilator---and therapy to fix, is not what is holding Jake back now. It is the pelvic fractures that are keeping him from building himself back up to get back on the baseball field. And if you have to have pelvic fractures, then Jake's are the one's to have. He has very little pain, and no true loss of mobility. He just has to be careful to not over-do... so his pelvic fractures heal correctly and he won't experience troubles down the road.
Jake came home from SDSU.. took his first Advil of the day, and fell asleep sitting up on the couch. I don't know what hit him the hardest... the exertion of walking around SDSU's campus on crutches.. or the psychological pain of seeing his friends, happy--going on with their plans---while the road that he had planned to travel, is crooked, twisted, and has side roads that he never imagined. Those baseball players down on the field, just doing the simple warm-up routines---throwing to each other, stretching--jogging---pitching...really got to him. He has always been one of them, but now he is on crutches with restrictions...on the side lines watching.
God, I hope he can recover his physical strength and athletic abilities. I'm know I'm sounding selfish myself. I've always seen myself as the proud mother of a drummer..a marcher.. a baseball kid headed off to college. Now, I am the very thankful and grateful mother of a child who could have died---who could have severe and irreversible disabilities---but who really has beaten the odds. The road that changed paths for Jake, also changed paths for me, and Hal, and Max. Thankfully for us, we still have the hope that Jake will fulfill his dreams. We still have hope. We still have hope. We still have hope. And for that, we are so humbled and so grateful---but the human part of me at least, is as impatient as Jake is. I want to see Jake drive in the driveway in his White Ford F-150... to have tons of kids all hovering over the "snack corner" and the refrigerator in the garage. I want to see him back to being the picture of health. I want to watch him march with the drumline...I want to see that kid back on the baseball field. I miss my Jake.
Irish blessings to us all. Happy St. Paddy's Day.
me....alison...Jake's mom.. and of course.. my little leprechaun, Max's mom too
3/19/07
Sunday mornings around here usually means an extra hour or so of sleep. Today felt wonderful.
Sunday mornings around here also means pitching practice on the mound that Hal built in our side yard. The mound gets it fair share of use, between Jake, Max, neighbors, and Noel Mickelson's family. Noel has been coaching Jake in pitching for several years. He's helping Max now too, and just waiting for Jake to be ready to start baseball again. We can all taste it.
Today, Jake sat in a chair and threw the baseball to Max. It at least got him going through the arm motions and it put the baseball back into his hand. Glove on the left....baseball in the right hand...separate and throw. It still looks smooth.
Jake also went with me to pick up Grandma Connie and run her around the grocery store. Grandma Connie at 88 years old, almost held up better than Jake. Nahhhhh...Jake did just fine. He is getting a little more stamina. Every little bit of exercise helps.
And tonight we celebrated Jake's recovery with the much anticipated Taco Feast at the Chandler's. Jake talked about it all day... "Taco's tonight..can't wait." Our campsite with our two tents...Amy, Brandon, and Chelsea.. and our wonderful neighbor, Phyllis---all sat around stuffing ourselves on tacos, rice, beans, and guacamole..... margaritas for the adults...and lemonade for the kids. (Jake is still a kid. )
He has his math homework done and ready to turn in. Tomorrow morning at the crack of dawn, he'll be getting up and going back to school. Even though it is final's week he still feels like he just has to get back. I trimmed up his half-a-haircut to make his "hair" look more even. That and a shave...Hey..he's cleaned up enough to go to school again.
Sooooooo....... READY OR NOT-----Here he comes. And my heart will be in my throat.
me...alison
3/20/07
JAKE GOES BACK TO SCHOOL !!!!!!!
Very little sleep last night. I knew this morning was "the morning"... and I had to be ready for it. Jake didn't sleep well either. He had a hard time falling asleep...planning this morning out in his head... living...thinking...excited...nervous...EXCITED... Scared. (but don't tell anybody.)
The alarm went off at 0600. I took my shower and then woke Jake up. His eyes were already open. That's unusual. Jake usually gets up at 7:29 AM to make his first period class at 7:50. Why hurry too fast? Today though was a different story. Jake was going back to school.
He looked different than he did 5 weeks ago. He is weaker, 20 pounds lighter, has "2-seam fastball" scars on his head, is using crutches to get around, and has been through a life threatening...and most certainly, a life-altering event. Many of his friends were there to see him at his worst in the SICU at Mercy. They saw him being kept alive by the ventilator..in a medically induced coma, with 8 or 9 IV's running at once...tube feedings through his nose...funny compression devices on his legs to prevent blood clots...alarms.. beeps...and wearing only a pillowcase to keep his raging temperature down. Jake's head was swollen to the size of a watermelon, his right eye swollen shut and his nose on the wrong side of his face. He looked like Hell. But those kids were there with him, and those kids celebrated every little bit of positive improvement. Those kids.. Davideo, Chelsea, Brandon, Patrick, Tiffany, my other son-Jake," Kevin, Jon-Jon, Ray... all saw Jake at his worst. Jake looks amazingly well now in comparison, but Jake's teachers and most of the kids at school had not yet seen how Jake looks now. Jake has changed, but Jake was ready to face the music.
I felt just like I did when I sent him off to Kindergarten for the first time----nervous and not quite ready to turn Jake over to someone else's care during the day. But just like I did when he started Kindergarten, I took a picture of him ready for school, bit my lip---took a deep breath and off we went to start another phase of his life. I knew it was just a few hours, until I picked him up from school but watching him crutch himself away from me ....was very hard.
I drove Jake to Helix and we were both surprised and touched by the "Welcome Back Jake" sign posted on the back parking lot fence. The kids at Helix have just been so supportive.
Jake ran into his band director, Mr. Quiroz who told him it was good to have him back at school. Jake told him it was good to be back... that he had had enough of hospitals and laying in bed. Mr. Quiroz told him, "You had to do what you had to do." And I thought, "Yeah.. after he did what he shouldn't have done in the first place." (OK....get over it Mom.. everyone makes mistakes at some time or another.)
I checked in with Jake's advisor, Mrs. Milburn... the school nurse, and the attendance clerk to officially sign Jake back into school. Then, with my stomach in a knot and a lump in my throat, I ran home to get Max off to school. Jake was on his own. He's a big kid again.
As big as that sounds, I still had to pick Jake up early from school to take him to Grossmont Hospital's Therapy Pool for a "non-impact" workout with Liz. Jake has a long way to come back to where he was before the accident, but every bit of physical therapy is bringing him that much closer to the strength he had.
He had plans to go see his Helix Baseball team play today, but when he got done in the pool... he was a noodle. Absolutely exhausted. He made it as far at the couch... and no further.
Hal and I went to see Max play his baseball game tonight. A squeaker... they lost by one run. When we got home, dinner was warm and ready to eat. Thank you Tina Brady. By this point, I am feeling really guilty for accepting any dinners. We will be OK. Jake is going to be fine. He has a ways to go, but he has taken the first big step---held his scarred and battered head up high---stood tall with his crutches...and went back to school on his own volition.
Today was a really big day. ...And we have to get up early again tomorrow.
me...alison.. Jake's mom
3/21/07
OK.. so the second day back to school is old hat. Getting Jake up for school is just like it has always been his WHOLE life. "Jake, I'm going to take a shower, and then I'll get you up." (This is fair warning... he has 25 minutes left to sleep.)
"Jake... I'm out of the shower.. It's time to get up."
"Jake, Honey.. you need to get up now."
"OK JAKE... if you don't get up now, you'll be late."
"JAKE GET OUT OF BED NOW!!!!! DO YOU HEAR ME? YOU'LL BE LATE TO SCHOOL IF YOU DON'T GET MOVING RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!"
"JAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Of course, the ride to school was frantic. I had his backpack in the car, along with some chocolate milk to drink on the way....car running and warmed up for his comfort so all he had to do is GET IN THE CAR!!! But I was rushed and hurriedly trying to get through yellow lights. (Legally of course!) By the time I dropped Jake off... I was a nervous wreck, and knew that Jake was back, just as he was before the accident. AND, I told him that tomorrow will be different. We will be on our way to school by 7:35 AM...or else.
Or else, what? I don't know. I just know that taking Jake to school in the morning is no picnic. I didn't realize how happy I was when he got his license and was able to drive himself to school.
And after that mad rush to school, I had just enough time to get home...get Max up... send him off to school riding his bike.. and then turn right around to go back down to Helix to pick Jake up again...to take him up to Children's for Physical Therapy. Jake's therapist, Kelly.. gave him quite a work out. He was tired when he got back in the car, and half closed his eyes while I drove him back to Helix for his 3rd and 4th period classes.
When Jake got home at 1:30PM.. he ate a bowl of cereal.. and crawled into bed. He couldn't believe how tired he was, but he slept for over 3 hours. I had to wake him up to go down to his Drumline Practice tonight.
Hal thinks that Jake has bitten off more than he can chew. Going back to school with the early mornings... Therapies at all times of the day...and now, trying hard to pick up his place in drumline, may be just a little too much.
Hal may be right, but I give Jake credit for trying to re-gain his life. It is hard to believe that just 1 month ago this evening, Jake was taken off the ventilator. It was a rocky start to his independence. He had to breath on his own, when for 9 days a machine had done that vital task for him. His wonderful nurse in SICU.. Jenny.. had put Jake's life on the line, so to speak, by insisting that Jake was ready to breathe on his own. She hoped that her nursing judgement and expertise proved right. Jake did just fine. And I think that Jake will do just fine now. One more day of school and then he has 2 weeks off for Spring Break to re-coup some more strength and stamina. A month ago it was all Jake could do to stay awake to see visitors for a few minutes. Just looking and not talking wore him out. Now, he is getting around campus, sitting through classes, going to therapy and trying to catch up on schoolwork. I think Jake is doing just fine.
Wednesday afternoon we see Dr. Kureshi for the first time since Jake was discharged. He'll take the stitches out of Jake's head, and Jake will really be ready to heal.
We've been so lucky and so blessed.
me...alison... Jake's mom.. and Max's mom
3/22/07
This Jake update is late. Max took front burner last night. He needed the computer to finish a school project. I stood back and let him "have at it." He is such a good kid, but last night he was doing what almost everyone does...beating the clock...rushing to make a deadline. He had procrastinated on doing his Poetry Notebook due for today, Thursday...and was up late completing his work. It was a "midnight oil" night before he finished. By that time, I was cold and finished too.
Jake went into school yesterday and was handed his Algebra Final to take along with the rest of his class. He had completed the homework assignments while in the hospital, but had only sat through one math class since coming back to school. I have no idea how Jake did on that test, but I'm a little nervous. He has not only missed 5 weeks of school, but during those 5 weeks he wasn't really out on a vacation. Jake wants to catch up and be ready to tackle the final quarter of his senior year at the same starting ground as everyone else. But.. a math final after missing 5 weeks of instruction along with the rest of his class....yikes!
Jake was in 7th heaven yesterday because he was able to play along with the Jazz Ensemble for an extended last period of the day. He loves Jazz and loves playing the drum set. Put the two together and he's a happy kid.
He had his follow up appointment with Dr. Kureshi yesterday afternoon, and passed that exam with flying colors. Dr. Kureshi removed the stitches on the right side of Jake's head. No fun there, but now it is up to Jake's body to heal on it's own. His hair is growing, and hopefully the scars will not be so noticeable in the near future.
I tried to count the number of stitches in Jake's head, but had a difficult time seeing each different stitch. I did ask Dr. Kureshi for 108 stitches so Jake's head with the
"2 seam fastball" scars could be considered a professional baseball. It's my story that between the 3 surgeries, Jake had exactly 108 stitches. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
It was like old times last night having kids over hanging out with Jake. Helix is out of school for Spring Break.. Patrick, Kevin, Brandon... and Max all sat out on the porch with Jake enjoying food brought to us by Jesslyn and homemade Mac and Cheese from Angie Ringer. These kids were stuffed. The rest of the boys piled into Jake's room watching DVD's.. Max hunkered down on the computer for a long, long night.
Yep...not much to say about yesterday, except the stitches are gone...and with each day, Jake's life is getting back to normal.
me...alison.. Jake's and "Midnight-Oil-Max's" mom
3/23/07
For most of Helix's students, today is Spring Break, but not for Jake. This morning, Jake had to go to intersession to do a timed writing assignment for Humanities. He's certainly not complaining.. and neither am I. Jake is almost relieved. By doing this timed writing, Jake has only one more assignment to complete over the next 2 weeks and then he'll be caught back up in Humanities.
That is ---up to date JUST in Humanities. Algebra may or may not be caught up. He's done the homework, but the Final Exam he took on Wednesday is still pending, and his gut feeling is that he didn't do well. Hmmmm... Go Figure! After taking that test, Jake turned to his friend, "my other son, Jake"...and said that he needed to go back to Sharp Memorial for more surgery. He thinks they may have taken out half of his brain...when they put the bone back in. ...and the missing half-a-brain became very noticeable during that Algebra Exam.
These next two weeks are also going to be very busy reading and studying A/P Government. He has lots to do to get himself current in that class. No procrastination allowed during these two weeks. He plain and simply just doesn't have any time to waste.
More therapy this morning out at Children's. Jake was given quite a work out for his upper arms and shoulders. Then this afternoon, Jake will be back in the therapy pool at Grossmont Hospital for even more therapeutic exercise.
For me..I'm going back to work. I'm doing so with dread and anticipation. It's always hard to take the first step back after being gone for awhile. Jake took his first step this past Monday. Today it's my turn. (Help)
Of note to report for yesterday...Thursday.. is that Jake was interviewed by Liz Neely for a follow up story on Jake's amazing recovery. Liz is the reporter who did the article on Jake after he had just awakened from the coma. She was very easy to talk to. Jake's main message is "Don't get hurt." Though he has no recall of the accident or even the decision to take the toboggan for a spin behind the pick up truck around the parking lot that Sunday, he is cognizant enough to say, "I messed up."
Everyone "messes up" at one time or another and not everyone gets caught...but taking any chance like he and the other boys did that day, may wind up with consequences you can't even imagine. Stop and think!
I really liked what one of his Doctor's told me before Jake was even out of the coma. He said that there is a synapse in the teenage brain that doesn't close while still a teenager. It is the synapse that doesn't allow kids to foresee bad results from taking chances. This doctor's quote: "I was 16 for about 20 years before I finally 'got it'."
Hopefully Jake, "got it" with this accident.
And with that.... It's off to work I go.
me.. alison... Jake's and Max's mom
3/25/07
Saturday's comments on Friday.
I should never have agreed to go back to work yesterday. I know I was needed to take charge, but I can't even convey how unprepared I felt when I actually got to work.
The whole day was busy to begin with. Get Jake to school--get Max to school after making a last minute costume for History Day. Then pick Jake up from school and run him out to Children's for therapy... Then back from therapy to get ready for work.. then out to Grossmont Hospital for therapy in the heated pool, then WORK.
I was already tired when I got there, but yesterday was absolutely chaotic. It didn't help that I had been away from the floor for several weeks. Some things had changed. Some faces had even changed.. and I felt overwhelmed as I listened to report and realized how fast a pace we'd have to run to even begin to meet the needs of the patients.
I wished I had never agreed to "fill in the blank" by working that shift. I know that I am a really good nurse, but last night everything was haywire and "discombobulated." HELP!!!
Meanwhile, Jake was stuck waiting for Hal to pick him up. He can't drive.. his pool therapy ended at 3 pm.. and I had to be to work at the same time. Even so, everyone was so glad to see Jake and welcomed me back to the work force. I work with some tremendous people. Our Peds unit is almost like a family. What affects one person has a ripple affect on the rest of us. We all feel each other's hurt and we all celebrate each other's happiness. Jake had many well-wishes yesterday.
Jake had a timed writing assignment in the morning.. and then got quite a work-out at Children's. The pool therapy in the afternoon compounded his exertion. He felt like "Jell-O" when all was said and done.
As I ran frantically up and down the halls of Pediatrics, Jake and Hal watched Max play baseball. Max was the starting pitcher yesterday. He pitched 3 innings and I'm told he didn't give up any runs. One hit.. that didn't score... After the game, Max tried to call me and tell me how well he had done, but there was no time to even answer the phone. I left work at 1 AM... It wasn't until this morning that I could congratulate Max for his game last night.
And then there was another game today. Max got a triple, then pitched the last inning. Just 1 hit, and no runs scored. That's 4 scoreless innings in a row for Max. Great job. Even big brother Jake was impressed. But in the long run.. it's all about learning the game and practicing skills. It really doesn't matter who wins. It is just so much fun to watch these kids play baseball.
Tonight we enjoyed a wonderful dinner brought to us by Steve and Kelly White. Stuffed shells, salad and sour dough bread. I know the dinner was meant to be enjoyed last night, but see... I was at work. It was the traditional cold cereal menu that the boys enjoyed. Tonight, I'm home.. and truly appreciated having food ready to heat. Besides going to watch baseball, I've spent the day cleaning one mess that uncovers another mess and then leads to more mess. It's Spring.... I'd like to call this "Spring Cleaning"... but I know that it is cleaning that should have been done last Spring. So.. Hey.. Spring is Spring... I've been doing Spring Cleaning all day. We just won't mention the year....or even the decade of the Spring messes I've been cleaning.
Jake slept in late today and then took a nap this afternoon. I don't know if I should push him harder to get homework done now... not later, or if I should just acknowledge that he isn't able to go at the pace he upheld before the accident.
Another thing weighing on Jake's mind is that the Helix Band left this morning to tour San Francisco...without Jake. I had paid for Jake to go on this trip back in January. I called and cancelled what I could of it while Jake was on the ventilator. Everything was so uncertain immediately after he got hurt, that I had to act fast to cancel his reservation. It never occurred to me that a month later, he may be well enough to join his friends. I know that he really feels bad that he is missing this chance to perform with the band in San Francisco and "hang out" with his friends, but the fact that he has come this far so quickly is going to have to be good enough for now. He would have had a hard time walking up and down those hills on his crutches. He admits that himself....Patience Jake. You're doing great. Be thankful. We are.
me..alison... Jake and Max's baseball mom
3/27/07
OK.. so it looks like I've been lagging, but really I've just been really busy.
Our lives are going back to some semblance of normalcy..... not that we've ever known the definition of that word over here.
Sunday.. just as is "normal" for at this house... the boys both practiced pitching on the pitching mound Hal built in our back yard. We had several kids practicing out there on Sunday. I told Hal, "If you build it...they will come." (I think I saw that in a movie a few years back.) Well just like in the movie.. Hal built the mound.. kids were taking turns pitching off of it all Sunday morning. Jake went last. He had to sit on a chair to throw, but he is still working out his arm. He wants to get back to baseball so bad!
I spent ALL OF SUNDAY.....cleaning. As I said.. one mess uncovered another mess, which led to deeper messes. Don't even ask me how things got to be such a mess.. Maybe we're more normal than I think.. but really I know I've just neglected things for too long. Busy?????
Kristin K. had the great idea to meet in La Mesa and shop at the Antique Mall Village Street Fair (or whatever)... and then to go have a Margarita at Por Favor's.. I loved the idea but was up to my armpits in cleaning. I couldn't be disturbed...or distracted even though those Margaritas were more than tempting.
Monday morning.. my twin sister.. Jake's Auntie Lexie and Uncle Dave came in from St. Louis. It is so great to have them here...and I looked forward to spending a night off with them.
"BuZzZz"... goes my cell phone... "Can I come in to work? Someone had just called in sick.... It should be a nice night."
OK... It's hard to say, "no" when so many people have bent over backwards to cover my time off when I couldn't leave Jake. My plans for the evening with my sister changed. I dressed for work... Took Jake to Grossmont Hospital's Therapy Pool at 2PM.. Liz gave Jake a work out.. and then at 3 PM... I went up the hall to Peds.. and went to work.
From that point on.. it wasn't the "easy" night that I was promised, but it was no where near the chaos that met me my first night back last Friday. I ran.. I ran some more.. I admitted.. I sent to surgery.. I got 3 back from surgery... SHEEESH... I just ran.
Meanwhile, Jake, Hal, and Max went to Helix to watch Helix's baseball teams play baseball. Hal watched the freshman team.. and Tyler Soto play. Jake returned to his team and sat in the dugout. "2 Seam Fastball"----"Stitch Head"---"Jake Drew..." whatever you want to call him.. Jake sat in the dug out and cheered as Helix beat Santana. He felt good just being that close to his team. Afterwards he took up his old job of preparing the bullpen for the next day. He did his best, raking the mound while on crutches and watering it down. God.. Jake would love to be an active part of that team again. WERE THERE ANY PICTURES OF JAKE BACK WITH HIS TEAM????? Of course not... I was at work. I am the "documenter."
Tony Gwynn.... Do you hear me? My dream has always been (and I told you in December at the Pitching Clinic).....that one day you would knock at my door and ask me if Jake could come out to play. That has been MY dream. Jake's heart has been set on playing baseball for SDSU since he started going to the baseball clinics at SDSU at 12 years of age. This injury was a heartbreaker and life altering....so we thought. But Jake has been my "Shortcut" kid when we were told he would have a long road to recovery from this injury. Instead, he has beaten the odds and has used sheer will power and determination to come back as fast as he can. Jake wants to play baseball. He's doing everything he can to be well enough to play for SDSU.
Many, many thanks to Carol Williams for preparing delicious Chicken Enchiladas for everyone to enjoy. I was at work, of course.. running ....running... no time to eat.. but at least, my family was well cared for. Carol.. you are wonderful.. My best to "Augie Doggie"...
More therapy at Children's in the morning for Jake. More work in the afternoon for me.
Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone for being there for Jake and for us Drews. And thank you to Amy Sanders for posting these "Jake Updates" and the pictures I've sent. I know her part of this website is very time consuming. She is the worker bee behind these updates.
just me... alison.. RN...and Jake's and Max's mom..
3/28/07
Today is Thursday---Yesterday was a whirlwind.
...............There is nothing else to describe the days events.
As expected, the follow up story on Jake done by Liz Neely was published in the UT. We knew it was coming, but didn't know which day it would be in print. Over coffee yesterday morning, we read about Jake defying the odds.
That was the start to an amazing day. We each took turns reading the article and then began making plans for the day. I was off yesterday and wanted to take advantage of the time to get some errands run. Jake had no scheduled therapies... it was time to accomplish the unaccomplished.
Literally.. as we were heading out the side door in the back of the house.....Max was yelling, "Mom.. come here....."
"Max, can you come here? ---- I'm busy right this moment."
"Mom....come here...NBC wants to talk to you."
?????????????????????? "WHAT??????"
There standing on the door step at the front of the house was Rory Devine from Channel 7/39 News. She had read the follow up article in the paper yesterday morning and wanted to interview Jake. Liz Neely's first article about Jake really hit home to her. She read it to her 14 year old teenager...cautioning him about thinking twice--- just as all of us moms do on a daily basis with all of our kids. She wanted to meet Jake and hear him tell his story. This stunt that Jake, Max, Kevin and Patrick did that day... sounded like something that others would try too. Getting the word out to other kids---getting the message out to anyone and everyone----to think about the consequences before trying something that could change your life---is an important message. THINK FIRST....then THINK TWICE.. and then THINK AGAIN!!!!!.
I always feel like my house is a wreck and never up to the standards I would like it to be when visitors come. Yesterday was even worse. The Spring Cleaning I had started over the weekend that encompassed the Spring Cleaning that should have been done a decade ago...was still in progress. The better things get underneath... the worse things look on the top. I was still getting to the top but trying to run errands first... when the cameras appeared on my doorstep and were ushered into my house. (Cringe....)
Rory Devine was so human... so personable.. and so genuinely appreciative of us being willing to tell our story, that it was easy to step around piles and just answer her questions. Jake was video taped playing his guitar... then crutched his way out to the garage to play his Senior Project for them on his piano.
The next phase of the interview involved returning to the scene of the accident. We retraced the steps we took on February 11th... Jake has no recollection of driving to the elementary school where it happened. I do.... It was a nightmare reliving that nightmare. I remember frantically talking on the cell phone to Max... then to Patrick... then to the Paramedics as we rushed to reach Jake. The school was farther down than I remembered... the parking lot was full of cars this time. On February 11th.. a Sunday... the parking lot was empty except for the fire engine, the police cars, the paramedic van, Jake's truck and the discarded toboggan.
The visit to the school parking lot yesterday refreshed the memory of the panic I felt when I saw all of those emergency vehicles converged in one spot to save Jake's life. Even as we drove up and saw them loading Jake into the ambulance, I had no idea they were literally saving Jake's life. It was more than a bruised shin. I know it was the quick work by the paramedics getting Jake to Mercy Hospital... and the rapid response of the Mercy's Trauma Team to get Jake stabilized and into surgery to control the intracranial bleed and pressure---that makes Jake's miraculous recovery a happy story today. Couple the very skilled medical team along with the millions of prayers and enormous support from the community, family and friends... and we have a walking miracle. Jake is getting back to his life and making plans for the future.
We videotaped Jake's story that aired at 4:30PM and 11:00PM on NBC 7/39 News. Rory Divine did a wonderful job of piecing together our story of hope and message of caution. Liz Neely's article in the UT was beautifully written. She even appropriately cleaned up Jake's thoughts about how he did on his math test. The article said that Jake didn't think he "fared well" on his math test. When Liz asked Jake how he thought he did, Jake replied..."I sucked." Thanks Liz... I like your words so much better.
Today is a more mundane day. The van is in the shop getting the air conditioning unit fixed so I can drive the drumline without "bakin' the boys in the back." That repair will be a small fortune. We have grocery shopping to do. Haircut appointment for me. See???? Life really does go on.
me...alison... Jake's and Max's mom.
4/1/07
Jake Update. Sunday... April Fools...Major League Baseball Opening Day...
It is Sunday...Sunday afternoon, by now. Jake is still sleeping. Yesterday took a lot out of him. Physically, psychologically, emotionally.
Saturday I joined the caravan of vehicles to drive the Helix Drumline up to a competition in Corona. Jake was so excited. Being part of the drumline is another step to returning to Jake's life. These competitions are what the kids work toward. Jake's injury as the season was just beginning....threw the drumline for a loop. The uncertainty of whether or not he would ever be part of them again... the seriousness of his injury...made it hard for the drumline to go on with business as usual. But they did. They have been piecing together a show, and none of them would even consider that Jake wouldn't be there this season to compete. He missed the first competition because he had just come home from the hospital the day before. Now....3 weeks later...Jake was ready to return to action.
It was a fun ride up. The kids were the same dufus kids that always ride in the car with us. Lots of drumming on practice pads.. lots of talking...lots of anticipation....lots of goofing off.....you know... drumline kids.
But once up at the school....equipment unloaded.. and the warm-up practicing began, things started looking more like that ugly reality. In your head, things will always work out perfectly. Jake was back with the drumline. He couldn't march, but he could drum. It would be great. But just the early morning workout with the drumline before we left... the long drive up.. and the standing in the sun was already taking it's toll. Jake was tired. He had never had the chance to practice with the whole drumline. He knew the music, but not all the breaks... or whatever you call the moves that are choreographed into the show. He thought he'd be able to pick them up easily, but it didn't come as easily as he thought it would. He was bitterly upset with himself and felt like he'd just pull the whole drumline down.
There were other problems that cropped up too. One of the harness's for the tenor drums broke---which meant that Ray couldn't march with his tenors. In a last minute decision, the drumline competed as "stand still" instead of as a marching line as they were entered to compete. Jake's snare part was already written to be stand still. He can't march on crutches, and he certainly can't carry a snare drum on a harness. Not yet. But the other complication with the "wardrobe malfunction"... pretty much threw the drumline a curve. In the end, it wasn't a stellar performance. The kids all knew it. Jake felt like he was a big hindrance. He very well may have cost him some points, but what he just couldn't get through his head yesterday in the heat of competition.... is that the other kids were just glad to have him back. He was an inspiration. But, to Jake.. he was just a nightmare.
They all had their own faults in the performance. They all know that they have a lot of work to do before the next competition in 2 weeks. But they are all together again and will have the chance to improve. Now it is on everyone's shoulders to do their parts.
Jake's hips were bothering him by the end of the day. There was a lot of walking...or in Jake's case...crutching... up to the gym from the far end of the football field where Helix was assigned to warm-up...several times. And just standing behind the drum on his left leg, balancing with his right leg...in the sun...and on the competition floor....took a lot of physical exertion that just wore Jake out. We didn't get back home until almost 1 AM... I guess that is why Jake is still sleeping now.
So...there is much more work to be done. Yesterday was a "reality bites you in the touchee " day. It's a bitter pill to swallow when you can't just pick up where you left off. It was a harsh dose of life's medicine, but everyone took a healthy spoonful ... and on we go to get ready for the next time. No April Foolin' here.
I'll have to get Jake up soon... It's baseball pitching practice on the backyard mound again today. Opening Day for the Major Leagues... PLAY BALL!!!
me...alison....Jake's and Max's mom.... and drumline kid's mom too... for some reason, I claim them all.
4/6/07
Jake Update....Way too early Friday morning,
One wonders how many trials... how many challenges... how many heartaches you can face and still come out a sane person.
Jake is on the mend. He is going to therapy, getting back together with friends.. having bon fires in the back yard just as if this were Spring Break... OK... so maybe it is Spring Break, but this is the time that Jake has to buckle down and really apply himself to his books to catch up on what he missed while he was in a coma. Just a little thing..that coma. I'm on his case incessantly trying to get him to understand that he only has the rest of this week to complete his work.
These updates are getting fewer and farther between just because there is not much to report on. What do you say when you just want to get Jake back in the homework mode....but he wants to party-hearty---with friends. I guess you can say he is a normal teenager.... THANK GOD!!!!
More therapy Friday morning, and then an x-ray of his pelvis to be ready for his appointment with Dr. BonGiovanni on Monday morning. Jake is busy.. but Jake is getting better.
The newest challenge that I (we as a family) are facing is that today, my 88 year old mother had a stroke. Auntie Lexie, who is visiting from St. Louis, called mom this morning and noticed that her words just weren't making sense. I had just returned home from teaching at the Pediatric Skills Fair and rushed over to check on Mom. She was confused, disheveled, and talking gibberish. We rushed over to Grossmont Hospital where she was diagnosed with what I had feared... a stroke. She is now a patient on the Stroke Floor at Grossmont Hospital. Her head was shaved to undergo "cold laser" therapy...a new and experimental treatment. Having Jake's head shaved when he had his craniotomies was horrible, but he is young and his hair is already coming back nicely. It is completely another story when I had to make the decision to allow Mom's head to be shaved....for a treatment that we just hope will bring her back to an acceptable quality of life. She has not been lucid yet today. She says things like, "I want to go home," quite clearly... but it is followed with words that make no sense. It is a different language. It is a different mom.
I'm worn. My family is worn. My mom is in the hospital...no longer acting like my mom.
We are so thankful that Jake's head injury is healing. Now it is my mom that is at the head of our concerns....and once again, "Back Burner Max" is taking a back seat to everyone else's needs. But he spent time with Grandma Connie in the hospital tonight and hugged her and told her he loves her. She told him she loves "her" too. "Max is such a nice girl." Oh God... I just want to cry, but just like the first days with Jake's accident... all I can do is try to breathe.
me...alison....Grandma Connie's daughter.. and Jake's and Max's mom.
4/8/07
Update... on whomever needs updating.
Because my mom had a stroke and I had to work.. and everyone was trying to go too many directions at once, Hal gave Jake permission to drive Max to 24 Hour Fitness. Jake also drove to his drumline rehearsal this morning. I was furious, but who am I?
I know that Jake is doing fantastically well. I know that he is probably OK to drive the back roads here in La Mesa. What I know, and what I feel.. are two separate things.
Knowing that Jake is being independent is scary... a leap of faith that makes me feel unsure..and plenty frightened.
I may sound like a control freak, but I challenge anyone else to sit back and feel comfortable knowing that their son is driving 4 miles.....after coming out of a coma.. and being on a ventilator.
Look at the picture on Jake's website with him on the ventilator....with the feeding tube still up his nose...with him on crutches.. with his face swollen and looking like an alien...and tell me that his first test drive around the block isn't enough to make your hair stand on end.
Meanwhile... as I worry to death about Jake wanting to show off his own progress and his own independence...I'm dealing with my mom's stroke and independent decline. She was always one who prided herself in the fact that she was so independent. She worked as an RN up until a few months after she turned 80 years old. That was just 8 short years ago. Now at 88 years of age.. and having suffered a "mild stroke" on Thursday... my Mom doesn't know who her own kids are... she doesn't know where she is... she can't string more than a few words together at a time that make sense.. and she is frustrated beyond belief...which leads to agitation beyond tolerance.
Lexie, my twin sister.. and her husband have been out here vesting from St. Louis for 2 weeks to see Jake and his recovery. She has to leave this morning to go back and go to work at her job at American Airlines in Nashville. Uncle Mike is here for a day or two. Mom is in it for the long haul.... as am I----. Life has to go on. Mom has kitties.. she has Daisy, the fat black doggie.. and, of course.. she feeds the coyotes who drops by in her back yard. She remembers all of her "kids"... (the animals)... but she can't quite make out her own children.
Auntie Lexie hit the nail on the head when she remembered Jake waving to the camcorder as a toddler. "Wave to Grandma Connie and say 'Hi.'" ... As Jake waved and crept closer to the camera he said, "Is she in there?"
Yes.. we know that Grandma Connie is "in there." We just have to help her find her way back out of the void that she has slipped in to.
This is very early Easter Morning. ....Happy Easter everyone. Please cherish the moments you have with those you love. Life gets so busy. Everything is important. But after Jake's injury... and now mom's stroke.. I am realizing that family and friends are what counts. Work is nothing more than a business decision.
Happy Easter.
me.. alison
4/10/07
Updates....Jake, Mom
OK... Along the classic line of, "Here's the Good News---Here's the bad news----" ....Jake had a follow up appointment with Dr. BonGiovanni today regarding the pelvic fractures he suffered from the "toboggan gone haywire ride".. Dr. BonGiovanni took a look at Jake's x-rays that were done last Friday and was very impressed with Jake's healing.....so much so that he is now allowing Jake to walk without the aid of crutches. He wrote Jake a prescription for a cane for balance issues just in case Jake finds that without having the crutches to lean on, he may be unsteady walking.
Jake walked out of Dr. BonGiovanni's office with a limp and a hobble, but without those pesky crutches. I'm seriously doubting that Jake will need the cane...not for at least another 60 or 70 years. Jake is a determined and driven kid.... and one who is on the mend.
Dr. BonGiovanni added his words to explain Jake's miraculous recovery. He said that the fast medical treatment Jake had was one thing, but the factor that just can't be measured is the amount of support Jake has had throughout this ordeal. He told Jake that whether he knew it or not, he always had family and friends surrounding him. That support, coupled with the prayers from all over the world....is that intangible factor that made the difference.
Everyone of you reading this update, everyone of you who came down to the hospital and sat with Jake as he laid attached to the ventilator and slept in a coma....and rehabbed his way back to health...everyone of you who have called, written, e-mailed, visited Jake at home....everyone of you who have cared for Jake....everyone of you who has in someway made it easier for us to be there with Jake...(Kristen taking care of the dogs...Angie taking care of Max....Kim and Renee for covering my shifts..the many meals provided for our family....Amy for providing Brandon and Chelsea.. oh yeah.. and very important...this website.... ) ----each drop has rippled out and touched other ripples that has someway intertwined us all into an expansive network of caring for Jake. It truly is immeasurable because the network is still alive and strong. That has been the difference in how Jake came out of this injury scarred, but seemingly unscathed. We owe a multitude of thanks to everyone one of you...
We have been blessed.
But then, we get to the second part of that classic line...."Here's the bad news"....My mom remains in the Physical Rehab Unit at Grossmont Hospital. She is unaware of why she is there. At times she is docile and sweet, just as she has been throughout her life. She tries to take care of us as we visit. But by evening, Mom goes into a different phase.. one of agitation....frustration... confusion .. that just escalates exponentially. (Wow... I used a math term...now I know that I've been under stress.)
Lexie and her husband Dave, flew back to St. Louis yesterday. Mike and his wife April, just drove out of the driveway to get back to Salt Lake City... and I'm headed down to the hospital to sit with Mom. I'm off today. I can't make a plan for how we are going to deal with this with mom, I just know that as the time comes...somehow we'll deal with it. Don't ask me today ---what I am going to do at 10 AM tomorrow. Right now, I don't know.. but when 10 AM tomorrow comes... I'll be there...somehow... Somehow.
On the way home from the doctor's office today, Jake said that if he had that day to do over again...(his D-Day...dumb day)... he wouldn't change a thing. He says that he really believes that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And Jake is getting stronger.. but I'm getting more and more tired. There are times when I feel so scattered that I'm sure I can relate to the confused state that mom is existing in after having her stroke. I hope that Jake is right about that "getting stronger" thing....otherwise this is going to kill me. But it won't. I won't let it. That's what Jake means by getting stronger. He hasn't let any obstacle stop him from reaching out to grab his dreams. We just don't always know the road we're going to end up on, or how each detour will impact that path. He's learned that he had a severe lack of judgment when he got on that toboggan, but he's not going to cave in just because he isn't on the same path he was before he was injured. If anything, he's more focused---more driven---more determined to get back. Jake is getting stronger.
....me, Alison, Jake and Max's mom, Hal's wife, Connie's daughter, Mike, Jeff, Kirstin and Lexie's sister...did I mention Gracie and that...that....yonder dog!!!
4/12/07
Mom had the same type of conference that Jake had in Physical Rehab just a month ago. We met with physical, occupational, and speech therapists...as well as nursing staff, Mom's doctor... and the Case Worker.
Last month with Jake, I was puffed up and proud as a peacock as I listened to each of his medical staff give glowing reports on his progress. He got an "A+" on his report card. Yep.. that's my boy. Bright... talented...able to overcome all odds.
Today with Mom it was so different. I sat humbled...frightened.....a little embarrassed (God help me...)... because the report wasn't as glowing. We've reached the point with mom where we just want her to be safe. What a step backwards. A week ago, Mom was independent and living on her own...taking care of her kitties, her dog, and worried about the coyotes that frequent her backyard. Today, I'm hearing from the nursing staff that she is "continent of bowel and bladder." Poor Mom.. She sat in the conference along with the rest of us, listening to each one of her health care providers talk about her progress. Most of the words were so long and lengthy that all she could muster up was, "Thank you very much" ---I knew that she had no idea what each one of them was talking about.
What was she thanking everyone for??? Who knows.... She is so polite and so proper that she thanks everyone for anything. I can't tell anymore if that expression of thanks is purely automatic, or if she genuinely feels that way.
It seems that the agitation and anger has left. What remains is the confusion and frustration and what looks like to me is depression---with mom just trying to piece together what happening to her.
From the conference I've taken away that the main focus is to keep mom safe and to build her endurance back up.
It kills me to see Mom tied to the bed or the chair with a Posey Vest on.. but I know that in her current state, she is impulsive and can't see the consequence to her actions.
BACK UP... I think I know an 18 year old kid of mine who also could not see the consequence to his actions....
This whole thing with mom is really "de ja vu." All the neurological symptoms that we were warned we would see with Jake last month....but didn't.---- we are seeing this month with mom. Yesterday, she couldn't brush her own teeth.. Today, with help she can.
Processing any instruction or command is a time consuming procedure. ..."Mom, I want you to sit down in your wheel chair.. " She steps forward.. "No mom.. I want you to back up and sit down... here.. feel back here for the armrests of your wheel chair.." She turns to the side...confused..but wanting so badly to please. Mom...here.. touch the arms of your wheelchair...then sit down. "OK.." Mom says... And I thank you very much."
We've been told that her discharge date will be April 20th..That is just a little more than a week from now. Will we be ready for her to come home? We'll have to find a way to make all schedules mesh to work out to care for Mom. She cared so much for us all of our lives....even to this day, she is worried about us getting sleep and
getting rest. She's always trying to get us to share her hospital bed and cover us up to keep us warm. She tries to help the patient in the room with her. She still has her nursing instincts and wants to deliver care for everyone. Life is going to change drastically for us.. It would be easy to lament our inconvenience... but this is our mom... and we love her so very much. "She ain't heavy... She's our mother."
Jake has a Speech Therapy evaluation on Thursday, up at Children's. I suspect that he will "ace" the evaluation and I will sit there proud as a peacock.... Then, after he is finished with his Speech and Physical Therapy appointments... I'll get him home to practice with the drumline.. and go back down to sit with mom.
I hope she'll recognize me.
me....alison...my mother's daughter... my son's mother.
4/15/07
Update...Jake... Update Mom
Friday was a much better day for Mom. She was brighter than she has been since this stroke hit her. She was able to string many, many more words together comprehensively, though the clarity is still muddled with Mom's new language ....that nobody understands. I know that she wanted to tell me something about North Dakota, where she was born. Something about her mother and how her mother is there with her. She is adamant that she has to make this story known to me...and I would love to know what she is trying to convey....but I just can't get the gist of the story.
Sentences come out fairly quickly if she doesn't have to think about them. It is when she is trying to think of a specific word, or phrase, or idea....that her "Connie Language" takes over.
Even so, I know that she recognizes us now and that she is willing to do anything they tell her to do....so she can "be excused to leave the table.." ... and go home.
We are looking at a discharge date of Friday, April 20th. Her kitties will be ecstatic to have her home. She misses them so much.
I didn't see her at all yesterday because I left early in the morning to drive the Helix Drumline up to Pasadena for a competition. What a difference between this performance from the debacle of 2 weeks ago. There were no "wardrobe malfunctions"....the kids marched around Jake while Jake stood with his snare drum on a stand and drummed.
The kids had more confidence in themselves and the hours of practice certainly paid off.
Helix competes in the Scholastic A category. There were 11 drumlines competing in Scholastic A yesterday. After the disappointment of 2 weeks ago, we were so happy to hear that we did not come in last.. As each place was called, and Helix's name was not named...10th, 9th, 8th, 7th, 6th, 5th, -----Mr Frice, another parent feared that Helix may have been disqualified... 4th place goes to...not Helix.
With a score of 80.0...3rd place goes to Helix Charter High School!
Wow.. what a boost... what elation! These kids really came back from disaster. They didn't get the "CPOP"....(Conciliatory Piece of Paper).... they took home an award.
Michael Frice and Jake stood tall and professional with the other student leaders, and accepted their award with a crisp salute. No goofiness that has become the norm with many other drumlines....they were professional. I was proud. This brings Jake another step closer to being "back."
Congratulations to Helix's Drumline. Next week is another competition..another long day...another long week of practice and preparation....with hopefully another successful reward for their efforts. Whatever happens next week... this week, Helix did well---and I'm so proud of all my drumline kids.
With that...I'm headed down to spend the day with Mom before walking up the hall to go to work. Coffee.....I think I need coffee!
me...alison....HELIX Drumline Mom..(and proud of it!)
4/18/07
Update Me.
I feel like I am going crazy at this point. Even though I got an unprecedented 7 hours of sleep last night... I feel like I haven't slept in weeks. There is a pressure on all sides of my head that is annoying. It's not a head ache... it is a "heartache" of the brain.
Mom is doing so much better. She is getting words out...sometimes in complete sentences. Physically, she is strong and walking around the Rehab Unit well. She still gets confused at directions. It takes her a second or two....or three................or four....to comprehend what the therapists want her to do, but once she "gets it"... she is able to follow those commands.
We had Mom's Discharge Conference yesterday morning. Again, we sat around a table surrounded by her doctor, her nurses, her various assorted therapists, and a social worker. She was given a much better report than last week, but we still are looking at 24 hour supervision to keep her safe. This is going to be a huge change of lifestyle for my very independent mom... and for her very busy kids. For now, Jeff will move back in with her and be there in the evenings after work and through the night. I will work in the afternoon and then sleep at home.. get kids off to school in the morning.. and then spend the rest of the day over at mom's. I already feel like I am no longer part of my own family...(which may be a blessing to them.) I never get to see them anymore, and when I do... I'm tired...stretched....cranky....irritable.. and I must confess... not much fun to have around.
Mom had a horrible day today. She has been "sentenced" to sharing a room with another stroke patient. Her roommate speaks no English...She constantly calls the nurses by pushing her call button and then hitting the control on the side of her rail. Bang, Bang,Bang, Bang,Bang, Bang,Bang, Bang,Bang, Bang,Bang, Bang,Bang, Bang, Bang,Bang,Bang, Bang,............. "Come on... come on... come on.... Habibi... Habibi... Come On..." Bang, Bang,Bang, Bang,Bang, Bang,Bang, Bang,Bang, Bang,Bang, Bang,Bang, Bang,Bang, Bang.
This has gone on for a week. Poor Mom lays there in her own bed with wide, frightened and upset eyes. She knows something is wrong and would gladly get up to help her roommate, but she can't---because they have tied mom to her bed or her wheelchair with a posey vest to keep her safe. Mentally this is so disturbing to Mom. And as I have watched Mom's turmoil... it is extremely disturbing to me too. I've told the nursing staff that Mom really needs to be moved to a different room, but Grossmont Hospital is so impacted with patients that there is no other room to move her to.
I think back to how badly I wanted Jake to be moved to Grossmont Hospital's Rehab unit so I could go back to work and then run down the hall to visit him on breaks. HA!!! I thank God Almighty that Jake was never admitted to Grossmont Hospital. Never would I have been able to stay with him like I did at Sharp Memorial's Rehab. Never would I have been given an empty patient's bed so Jake and I could share a double room like I did at Sharp Memorial. Never would my 13 year old Max have been allowed to stay with Jake and I ...like he was allowed to do at Sharp Memorial's Rehab. Grossmont Hospital's Physical Rehab Unit is only partially a rehab unit. Their expertise for rehabbing patient's has been impacted with med-surg overflow...just as our Pediatric Unit has been impacted with adult overflow. It is hard to focus on a specialty nursing...when you are split in so many directions. It is not the nurse's fault. We all try to do our best and be everything to everybody. In mom's case... though she has had wonderful nursing care and wonderful therapy.. being trapped in the room she was placed in...listening to --Bang, Bang,-Bang, Bang,Bang, Bang,Bang, Bang,Bang, Bang,Bang, Bang,Bang, Bang,Bang, Bang,Bang, Bang,Bang, Bang---day after day.. night after night.. finally came to a head today.
When I got to Mom's room today.. she was so upset that she took me in the bathroom to unload her story in private. She could have unloaded her story right there in the room and it would have made no difference. I have no idea what mom was saying, except... "Those people.. I was trying to be so nice. I would never hurt her... but those people.. and it is terrible.. and Bang, Bang,Bang, Bang,Bang, Bang,Bang, Bang,Bang, Bang,Bang, Bang................
Mom is such a kind and gentle person, but today... she is one angry---ticked off---mama. She couldn't focus on any of her therapies. She tried to pour her frustrations out to anyone who would listen....or had to listen.
And then... miraculously.... a room opened up, and mom was moved into a new room. But it is only for one night. She thinks that she did something wrong and that is why she was moved... Her new roommate is not banging on the rails, but her TV is turned up so loud that Mom can't rest. Double rooms are horrible---especially when the patient already has a brain deficit. To make them deal with other problems is inhumane.
Another "Sharp Experience." I've had so many I could write a book.
At home I feel like I can't make anything right either. Everything is a struggle. Just tell me what you want me to do.. don't ask me to think... and maybe.. just maybe I'll do something right.
They say that God doesn't give you more than you can handle, but I feel like I've been given a second helping PLUS dessert.. and I only wanted an appetizer. I can't handle all of this. I'm empty inside and panicked.
Mom comes home on Friday. She is eagerly anticipating going home to take care of her kitties. On the other hand, I know that once she comes home, another set of responsibilities will be placed in our basket to carry. I'm scared.... and I act like everything will be alright, because I don't want Mom to know how scared I really am.
me...alison... ...everybody's nobody.
4/20/07
Mom came home today. I don't think the hospital could get her out of her room fast enough. When I arrived at 10 AM to be with Mom....the staff had already packed her belongings in bags and they were sitting on the floor. Mom was dressed and sitting in the chair. Gone was the dreaded posey vest...Safety was no longer the concern it was yesterday. Today she was going home and would be our concern...not theirs.After an hour, her nurse came in to check Mom. She was surprised to see me sitting with mom because she had missed seeing me come in. Oh good.. I could be given Mom's discharge instructions and she could be out the door. Great...except I wanted Mom to eat lunch first. Getting Mom to eat at home takes an act of Congress, but in the hospital, she had learned that she needed to clean her plate. Lunch came a little after 12 noon. It was 11:20 AM. Seemed like having Mom eat lunch was reasonable. "Oh...she is going to eat lunch first?" Out walked her nurse...
Next thing I knew, in came the charge nurse to ask if I minded if mom ate lunch in the dining room....as her bed needed to be cleaned and prepared for the next patient. Sure... no problem... but now I was feeling rather testy. It was obvious to me that the next patient coming in was much more important than the patient going out. That is the Sharp Experience. Shove them in... Shove them out. Rotating beds... Don't let the mattress get cold.
It was all very confusing to Mom. She didn't know why she her belongings were being packed up and placed on a cart. And to be honest...by this time, I was digging my heels in and insistent that mom didn't leave until she got her lunch. 30 minutes... wow... how dare she tie up the bed that long. But...after all that commotion about getting the heck out our dodge ASAP...we were left alone. In came her lunch...and she was actually allowed to eat in her room. I told her to shovel it in fast because we were gong home. She was too upset and not ready to eat under the rushed and cool circumstances we were in. So.. I packed up her food and told the nurse we were ready to go. There parked prominently outside the door to her room was the housekeeping cart...what a visual! Mom had overstayed her welcome.
I told her nurse to give me 10 minutes to get the car around to the front of the hospital's main lobby. I was parked across the bridge in the Brierpatch Parking lot. It was raining when I ran across the bridge with 2 armfuls of mom's possessions. Looking at my watch, I realized that I had made the trip in 5 minutes. When I pulled to the front of the hospital.. there was Mom sitting in the wheelchair in the drizzle...waiting to be picked up to go home.
Mom's nursing care has been wonderful while she was in the hospital. She has had caring nurses and kind therapists... but sheesh....her last 2 days were nightmares. First of all because she was forced to listen to her roommate bang on the rails day after day until Mom herself, became so agitated that she had to be moved... and then today.. there were no fond good-byes... only a rushed....get the hell out out of here...another more important patient is waiting for your bed.
Mom appreciates all that has been done for her. She keeps telling me that everyone was so nice... and I agree. Everyone has been so nice. Sharp always touts their "Awesome Arrivals"...and something like "delightful discharges." She had the first.. Her arrival was awesome, but her discharge was a strained and less than friendly. How dare she want to eat lunch before leaving?
I know that I am so tired that little things like Mom's forced and hurried exit seems magnified and larger than life. But this is MY MOM!!!!!!!!!!! She means the world to me, even if she is nothing more than a number or a "business decision" to someone else. "Thank You GOD... for not letting Jake come to Grossmont Hospital."
Mom didn't recognize anything as we drove home, until we got to her street. Then she was able to know where she was. As soon as we walked into the house, her kitties came to greet her and welcomed her warmly. She helped us clean her refrigerator, and finally at 10 PM.. she ate her lunch that I hurriedly packed up at the hospital.
Again... Thank You GOD for not letting Jake come to Grossmont Hospital. Jake had an awesome arrival to Mercy Hospiatl under dire and emergent circumstances.. He was treated exceptionally well at at Mercy.. and then at Sharp Memorial's Physical Rehab...and then he had a wonderfully supportive discharge from the main hospital of Sharp Memorial after having the bone flap replaced. He was not shoved out the door with his belonging's packed early in the morning. He was allowed to eat lunch and then was graciously sent home.
I am tired and I am ticked off. Mom on the other hand is just confused and trying to pull her world back together. She talks to us as if we know exactly what she is saying.. but I don't have a clue. Her smile though... says it all. She is happy and contented to be home with her kitties.
...me... alison... one disillusioned family member. I work there... I expected better.
April 29, 2007
Update Jake... Update Helix Drumline...
Yesterday a chapter closed. It had a good ending...unlike the ending we feared back in February. Yesterday, the Helix Drumline competed for the last time this season in the 2007 American Drumline Association Championships.... and they did very well.
I remember sitting in the Emergency Room on February 11th...hearing first that the doctors had found bilateral fractures of Jake's pelvis, plus many "egg shell" fractures around the pelvic ring. I bitterly thought..."Well...so much for baseball and drumline season... this blows those plans...No way can Jake march this season."
That was before the rest of the bombshell was dropped that Jake had an intracranial bleed... a serious head injury... and would require surgery to evacuate the hematoma. At that point...drumline seemed so insignificant...now we were talking about Jake's future.
After another craniotomy a few hours later to relieve the growing pressure on Jake's brain...even Jake's future wasn't the main concern... now we were talking about Jake's life.
It's funny how the important things take little time to rise to the surface. Drumline and Baseball were the first consideration, until the full extent of Jake's injuries became sickeningly apparent.
With drumline season just beginning... there was initially the thought that the season was over for the whole drumline. But the drumline pulled together and went on without Jake....all the while encouraging Jake to hurry up and get better so he could re-join them. They wouldn't accept the notion that Jake was done. They insisted that a uniform be ordered for him along with the rest of the kids. It was enormously encouraging to have Jake pick up a pair of drumsticks while in the Intensive Care Unit... 2 days after coming out of his coma, and one day after being removed from the ventilator...to find that he could still drum. Davideo put him through the drills and he could still do them. Jake is a drummer.
With that fear squelched... now the kids made sure that Jake had a non-marching part choreographed into the show. He was going to get back into the drumline. They wouldn't hear otherwise.
It all sounds glamorous and perfect....but it wasn't. Jake had a very hard time realizing that what was once so easy for him, wasn't that easy for him now. He faced a real reality check for his first performance in competition with the drumline and it upset him to realize that his faltering technique and rusty skills would hurt his drumline's overall performance and score. It was a very difficult day. But what Jake didn't realize at that discouraging moment in time, is that a miracle had just happened. Just 7 short weeks after suffering a life threatening injury and 3 weeks after being discharged from the hospital after his 3rd craniotomy ...(this one to replace the bone flap removed to allow for swelling of his brain...).. Jake was already back and reclaiming his life. What he lacked in drumming technique that day.. he made up for in inspiration to the kids and the parents. Nobody pointed fingers at him and blamed him for "messing up." Jake beat his own self up enough for everyone else. The point was that their drumline was together again. Now they could go on to practice and perfect their show. The message here....Never give up...
Drumline season just didn't go as planned this year, but the book is now closed and the reviews have been written. Helix took 5th in the Scholastic A, Gold Class. Not where they wanted to be at the start of the season, but where they all stood together as a complete drumline last night and accepted their award. This Drumline Season was one of encouragement, perseverance, and unity amongst the drumline. They overcame what could have been a season ending tragedy...and worked together to build their show.
Their show was "The Planets." In my mind.. it was a "stellar performance."
The most touching and unexpected end of this season came last night as the President of the American Drumline Association, J.Greg Perry was announcing the awards. He talked about that drummer kid who spent 8 days in a coma at the start of the drumline season who when he awoke from his coma, wanted to know how his drumline was doing. He talked about the drumline who didn't care if their drum captain's return cost them performance points. He talked about how a kid who is "once a drummer....is always a drummer." He commended Helix's Drumline for sticking together and making a difference in each other's lives.
Me...mom of that drummer kid...sat in the bleachers and choked back the tears. I was touched... I was caught off guard... I was so proud of how hard Jake worked to fit back into the drumline. I am so thankful and so proud of all the drumline kids who wouldn't accept a season without Jake... I so appreciate Matt Quiroz, Helix's Band Director.. and Garrett DeJong and Ricky LeGerrette, the drumline instructors...for working with Jake to make this season possible. And my sincere thanks goes to Mr. J. Greg Perry for understanding how important this drumline season was to Jake and his drumline. Enough so that they were willing to sacrifice points just so they could perform together. Regardless of the standings... these kids had a winning season.
One final sentence in that chapter that closed... Congratulations to the Helix Pit... who took "High Pit"...over all the Scholastic A Division pit sections this year.
The End
me....alison....sob...sniffle...tear... Drumline Mom.. (I'm really going to miss it!)
5/12/07
I haven't spoken with Alison today, but I am guessing that this is the one Mother's Day that she was didn't mind so much having to work because when all is said and done, she had a Jake...and a Max, of course....to peek in on when she got home. The fact that we haven't heard much from Alison lately is a good thing. The crisises past, Gradma Connie doing fine, her life is back to normal and the rushing around of daily routines back in place.
This was a furious week for Jake as he scrambled to finish the SENIOR PROJECT which has hung over his head, practically from the minute he woke up from the coma and was himself once again. A few days ago he came by to borrow Chelsea's portfolio to use it for an example, as all of the other kids had already completed theirs. I opened the door and invited him in, and after not having seen him for a few weeks I noticed something - that I didn't notice anything! His hair has grown back and much to Alison's chagrin he is sporting what Brandon refers to as the 'Sasquatch' look. And it struck me how crazy it is that not long ago we sat around that waiting room and he laid in that bed with the tubes and the fans and the nurses...well you know what I mean...and here is knocking on my door.
Back to the senior project, completion with a 'pass' is necessary to graduate. Jake wrote an orginial musical piece and recorded himself playing each part with various instruments. He then mixed them into a final piece which I was lucky get a sneak preview of - and it is AWESOME. He will be performing it (the piano portion) at the Helix Pop's Concert this Thursday, Friday and Saturday evening 7-9-ish, May 17-19 at Helix. As I understand it, the bleacher seats at $7 (at the door) are the best to see everything. The concert is a combination of the entire music program at Helix so besides our Jake, it will be a treat to enjoy all of the talented young people involved in the performance. You may or may not know, Helix is not only an excellent school for football, but Helix's music program ranks in the top 50 high schools in the nation!
I have to tell you that I am so impressed. When Jake was in the hospital we all pretty much accepted that Jake would not be able to finish all of his classes - that something would have to give in order to finish after missing over a month of school. That is, all of us but Jake. Darned if he didn't prove us all wrong and push ahead to complete all of his classes inclucing the AP! It almost doesn't matter what his scores are, he did it and that says it all.
So now it is time to slide into homeplate, so to speak. I believe he got the go ahead from Dr. Bongiovanni this week to resume all normal activity. The Prom is in two weeks and Graduation is June 8th. From there it's a whole new journey. I don't think Alison could want for a better Mom's Day, to have to healthy and happy boys. Brotherly antagonizing, arm-socking, and name calling aside, they are her boys.
Happy Mother's Day, Alison Drew! You are blessed!
A.S.
This just in from Alison 12:45 AM
I'd like to say that everything around here is perfect. My gosh... we just came through a horrendous experience with Jake... and in the end-----he is OK. I'd like to say that everything with Jake is perfect.... but in the end...at this time...he is JUST OK. To be honest.. more than OK, but there are many troubling things starting to bother me.
I just got his progress report in the mail. I'd like to trash it. How can my 4.0 kid.. do so poorly? How can it not bother him as much as it bothers me? How can I possibly make things right again? Jake tells me that this is just a progress report. I want to throw up. Why is he not as panicked as I am? And then I have to try to put life back in to perspective. Jake is alive. End of sentence.... Period.
Then last night I got home from work to a very quiet...subdued campfire. (The campfires have gotten to almost be routine around here....a little to my dismay....but---Hey.....Jake is alive.) Why was the campfire so subdued? Because a couple of the campfire participants thought it would be funny to throw water balloons at cars on University. Chuckle... chuckle.. I'm still laughing so hard that I am crying. Someone called the LMPD. They took Jake's name and information, along with the two that were actually doing the funny water balloon joke. But, Jake hosted the bonfire... so in essence.... Jake is responsible.
Happy Mother's Day.
Meanwhile, my mom finally was able to tell the therapist her name on Thursday. That was a huge breakthrough! She has said, "I don't know." ... each time she was asked her name until last Thursday. Today however, I asked her what her name was and she chuckled.... kind of like I did when I was told the police had been here to ask who was throwing the water balloons at the cars.
I am so stretched that I don't know how to spread myself any thinner.
The better that both Jake and Mom get....the more I realize how much more healing there is to do.
Jake and Max did give me some beautiful hand picked flowers with a Mother's Day card that brought tears to my eyes.
I wish I was a better mother to both of them. I wish I was a better to all of my family.
I remember February 10th... I thought I was stressed with work and family on February 10th... Little did I know how blissful and peaceful February 10th was.. Because right on the heels of February 10th was the infamous February 11th..the date of Jake's accident... followed closely by April 5th.. Mom's stroke.
I'm not an inspiration. I am just a mom trying to hold on to what I love the most....my family. Even though it may be by the straw of my broom stick.
Happy Mother's Day to all.
me.. alison...master of all broomsticks.
Last night Jake performed his solo piano composition that he wrote for his senior project. We all felt as if we were experiencing a moment of awe. He played his piece beautifully. That performance ---- in itself was amazing. But those of us who knew about Jake's injury, and that just 3 short months ago...Jake was in a coma and on a ventilator...knew the rest of the story. This not just a fantastic performance. This was a testimony to the will of spirits and overcoming odds. It was special. It was an inspiration.
Yes... I am his mom
.
5/16/07
The rest of the Pops Concert is also wonderful. These kids are extremely talented. They have worked hard and are performing great music.
Yes... I consider myself a mom to all of my band kids.
Please join us for one of the last two performances if you can.
me...alison...Jake's mom...
AN INVITATION
HELIX'S POPS CONCERT
DATES: FRIDAY, MAY 18TH & SATURDAY, MAY 19TH
TIMES: 7PM
PLACE: HELIX HIGH SCHOOL GYM
COST: $7.00 GENERAL ADMISSION
Please join us to hear Helix Charter High School's Music Department
perform at the Pops Concert.
Orchestra, Wind Symphony, Concert Band, Jazz Ensemble, Drumline,
Bag Pipes, Color Guard
...and Jake Drew will perform his Senior Project,
a piano composition which he has entitled--"Cloud Burst."
5/28/07
Many, many milestones are quickly being reached. This school year is flying to a close.
Jake performed his piano solo- Senior Project to standing ovations at the Pops Concerts last weekend.
This weekend, Jake went to the Prom.
It was a night that you know will happen from the day your child is born, yet when the day actually comes, it comes with a myriad of mixed emotions. Fancy that... as if I've gone through any emotions lately. (Just a few....)
Jake chose a navy blue pin-striped three piece suit...topped off of course, with the grey suede fedora. Strikingly handsome and dashing.... I can say that.. I'm his mom.
Jake and one of his band buddies went in a very casual...non-traditional manor. They stopped at In and Out Burger to eat before joining up with friends at the Westin Hotel where the Prom was held. No dates... just kids having fun.
Pictures were taken before he left the house. I had to work that night so he made the mandatory trip to the hospital so I could see him all dressed up and dapper...and of course, take more pictures. Tears... I can't believe my baby is grown up. More tears...
Off he went, but I sent the camera with him so he could take more pictures at the Prom. He didn't use the camera once. Whose kid is he anyway? I document everything!
By 10:30 PM I was getting an insurmountable urge to call Jake to see if he was having fun. Instead, I called my friend, Amy. Her daughter Chelsea was also at the Prom. Amy told me to "step away from the phone.. step away from the phone....." ...if I even had the notion that I needed to call Jake.
Sheessshhhh!!!
Jake did tell me later that he had a blast. I'm so glad.
This Memorial weekend is drawing to a close. Tuesday night, May 29th... Helix performs their final concert of the year at Point Loma Nazarene College. 7PM..
Jake's musical career at Helix is wrapping up.
So... the update is that Jake is completing all of those things you think about when you hold that squirming little baby in your arms for the first time. That day of the Prom that seemed light-years away...is now over. Another milestone.. another memory. Oh no!....More emotions!
me.. alison... Jake's blubbering mom
6/6/07
La Mesa's Flag Day Salute Parade
It was the small, hometown atmosphere and excitement that comes with any parade.
Saturday started with a patriotic concert performed by "La Mesa's Hometown Band"....the La Mesa Middle School Band. Mr. Dyke wowed us all with snippets of trivia about each song the band performed. Who knew that the Star Spangled Banner is the tune from an old English drinking song? Mr.Dyke captured the crowd with his fascinating introductions to each tune. The kids played beautifully to a very enthusiastic crowd.
Then the Flag Day Parade began.
I ran back to the staging area to find Helix's Marching Band.
There stood Jake, dressed in his Helix marching band uniform for the last time...wearing the snare drum that he has so proudly marched with throughout his high school years at Helix. This was the first time Jake had actually worn the harness and the snare drum since before his accident. And it would be the last time that he would wear the snare drum and march for Helix.
OK... so I am freely acknowledging that I am a sap, but this brought up emotions that I had no control over. I took pictures galore of all of "my band kids." I took pictures of Jake looking serious---Jake smiling---Jake looking goofy....Ok..turn this way...Now one with Patrick...and Little J...and Davideo...Michael Frice.. Now one with all three of you, Jake, Michael and David...the kids who have been together since Kindergarten. Now Davideo and Jake...the kids who have been together since pre-school...
It seemed like the waiting time for the band to step off was lengthy. But then, once they started moving....it was hard to keep up with the band.
I multi-tasked as I ran alongside the band. Camcorder in the left hand...Digital camera in the right hand... Kleenexes in my pocket for the watershed coming from my eyes.
Helix is such an impressive band. They put on a show. They are proud and they are professional as they march. Saturday is the last time the seniors would march with that Scottie Pride again. YOU KNOW......HEEEELLLLIXXXXX!!!!!
Jake pulled out one last nostalgic tribute. He marched with his Uncle Jeff's drumsticks...the ones that Jeff marched with when he was in Mt.Miguel's marching band (just a few decades ago...) Also, the same drumsticks that Jeff brought to Jake in Mercy's SICU unit 2 days after Jake awoke from his coma. When Jake picked up those drumsticks in SICU...he instinctively began to play. Davideo put Jake through drills----complex drills--- and Jake was able to do them. Jake was still a drummer, despite his 8 days in a coma, and 9 days on the ventilator...and 2 craniotomies for his head injury.....Jake IS a drummer!
At the end of the Flag Day...Jake's marching career at Helix came to an end. But he ended his marching career....carrying his own harness....marching with his own snare....and using Uncle Jeff's drumsticks. Hey....Uncle Jeff...this one's for you.
Kleenexes are on the house.
me...alison.....Jake's mom.
Pomp and Circumstance Posted 6/12/07
....Wow..this is a big one.
Last week's flurry of school activities culminated in two very emotional days.
Thursday evening, I was invited to speak at a celebration for Mercy Hospital's Critical Care Team-- to give them a nursing perspective of being on "the other side." I've been a Pediatric Nurse for 30 years now, but when Jake was in the Intensive Care Unit at Mercy, I was out of my realm... and completely overwhelmed. With help from my niece, Tina...(one of those younger generations who "just knows" how to set up a power point display) I downloaded pictures of Jake chronologically showing his trauma...his horror...our nightmare...and his road to recovery. I typed up a speech to give, but even trying to practice reading it...was extremely difficult.
Thursday evening...Hal, Jake and I drove that familiar route back to Mercy Hospital. This time it was a celebration. The elevator opened on the 12th floor to many dear, familiar faces of nurses who had cared so skillfully for Jake. Somehow I was able to get through the speech--broken in places by sobs---but I hoped to convey the devastation we felt with Jake's injury...and the immense appreciation we have for the Mercy Hospital ICU staff who gave us back "our Jake."
Jake wore his suit with a dress shirt, tie, and vest. His hair has grown back enough to cover most of his "baseball head" scars. He was tall, tan, fit and handsome...a far cry from the patient the staff cared for in their SICU. At the end of my speech, Jake took the podium to also express his thanks to the staff. Emotions flowing freely everywhere. It was healing. The staff who cared for Jake were incredibly kind and truly went above and beyond their medical training. They performed a miracle.
Pomp and Circumstance
Then on to Friday June 8th, another day of raw emotions. Jake graduated with honors from Helix Charter High School. In February, after Jake's accident--we didn't know if Jake would be able to complete his graduation requirements. But Jake was determined. He refused to drop any classes. He had started them...he was going to finish them. It was difficult to play catch up...while trying to keep up with the new work. Jake's grade point average dropped...but in the end, what matters is that he graduated with honors, finishing what he started.
All those years of hard work leading up to the graduation were almost overshadowed by the months of regaining what Jake almost lost. Thanks to all of our family who lived the nightmare with us and rode our emotional roller coaster. Many thanks to Jake's teachers from kindergarten on up. Mrs. Bowen...you really made a huge difference. Many thanks to the marching band, the drumline, the Wind Symphony, Pep Band, Jazz Ensemble... Huge enormous thanks to the Helix Varsity Baseball Team, who wore Jake's number 17 on their ballcaps and kept his jersey in the dugout. And thanks to all of Jake's friends who sat with him and encouraged him to get better...who have always been there for him...some since kindergarten. It is hard now to realize that these kids will be going different directions.
Congratulations Seniors....Congratulations Jake. Perseverance pays!
Jake is now a 2007 GRADUATE of Helix High School.
me...alison....Jake's very proud mom
Happy Thanksgiving Posted 11/21/07
I've not kept the website updated. Most often too busy. Sometimes weak in the heart. This is a little long but hang on.
We were told that there would be changes with Jake. We were told that his recovery would be long-term. I pooh-poohed those warnings. Jake bounced back like a miracle. Nothing short of a miracle. Yet over the summer I began to see personality changes. He pulled away from us...his family.... and spent more time with friends. It is hard to know what is a change as a result of the accident, and what is a change because he is an 18 year old who just graduated from high school and is finding his way in the world.
Jake began working full time the Monday after he graduated in June. He took no time off to lounge around for the summer. He began working at Brady Company doing construction clean up. Hard labor. Making pretty fair money for a kid who has no bills. "Good," I thought...he'll be able to save some money for his college studies.
Over the summer, Jake moved into our motorhome. It was his "apartment." I didn't like it, but was convinced that he just wanted to have some independence. He was still living at home, but in his own space. OK...I tried to deal with that. Jake took a "road trip" to San Francisco about a week and a half ago. He was to be back by November 12th...his birthday. Our birthday-- since he was born on my birthday. So, along with my twin sister....we have 3 birthdays on November 12th. I ordered the cake while he was in San Francisco. "Happy 19th Birthday Jake. Thank God we've still got you!"
His phone broke while on the road and we were very worried from not hearing from him but everyone assured me he'd be fine.... and after I'd gone to bed he pulled into the driveway and went to bed. Thank God...he made it home safely.
In September, my father died in Kentucky. Jake, Max and I went back to Kentucky for his services. Jake played his senior project piano composition for Dad's funeral. The church was stunned. The passion with which Jake played, left those present unsure how to respond. I'm told that they wanted to stand and cheer....erupt in a thunderous applause, but this was funeral....it probably wouldn't be appropriate to cheer at a funeral. Jake quietly returned to his seat. Afterwards, he was angry with himself....critical. He said that he played horribly, that he'd never play that song again. Oh no dear boy....people approached me afterwards begging for a CD of Jake's music. There is none, except the rough recording he made to complete his senior project, but Jake made such an impact on those who heard him play, that they still talk about Jake's performance in Springfield, Kentucky.
My mom has made no recovery from the stroke she suffered in April. She has no memory...can't tell you if she ate breakfast even as she finishes her plate...and I don't think she completely understands that Daddy is gone. They spoke on the phone daily, often several times a day, even after Mom's stroke and her words make little sense. She was sad when I told her about Daddy, but minutes later, her whole focus is on her kitties... Her whole day focuses around those kitties. We still do the tag team approach to caring for her. Jeff stays with Mom. I go over to stay with her as soon as I get Max off to school --so Jeff can go to work, and then Kerstin comes in to relieve me so I can go to work. When Jeff gets home, Kerstin goes to work. Mom has her same mannerisms, but it is difficult to understand the content behind it. I hate strokes....they just aren't fair.
But here we are now the day before Thanksgiving. It has been such a difficult year, that it is hard to sit down and count my blessings.... But, oh yes.... I have so much to be thankful for.
We came close to losing Jake in February....but thankfully...we didn't. His recovery has been termed a miracle. It is. I know it is. Jake doesn't. He hardly even acknowledges that he had a life threatening accident. He slept through it so, he didn't experience the terror that we lived through while he floated in his coma. Jake sprang back so quickly, that he never really went through much of an intense rehabilitation. He skated. He was lucky. I'll never get over it -- yet, Jake thinks it is already over. It's not. I know it's not. But things could have gone so differently last February. I am so thankful that I still have my Jake. Jake probably aged me 20 years...but I am thankful that I have him. God... I am so thankful I still have him. As I've told him since he was a baby..."He's the most special thing in the world to me."
I'm thankful that my mom survived her stroke. I wish she was "my mom" again...I wish I could talk to her...ask her questions...turn to her for comfort....but the roles are reversed. Even so, I am so thankful that she is still with us. I'm thankful for Jeff and Kerstin...my tag team...so we can continue to keep mom at home with her kitties.
I'm thankful that my dad didn't suffer when he died. He probably had a heart attack.. He waited for my sister Lexie to arrive on the farm before he died. He told her, "I've been waiting for you Lexie Girl." When she asked him if he was having a heart attack, he told her, "I might be." His eyes then rolled back and he was gone. But isn't it wonderful that he had Lexie's arms around him as he died? I'm thankful for Lexie's strength. I'm thankful for her husband, Dave who has been such a support through these trials.
I'm thankful for my brother Mike, who has moved his truck driving career to Kentucky where he'll use the farm as his base, thereby keeping someone living on the farm to keep it going...Daddy's wishes....and for his wife, April...who is always there for Mike.
I'm thankful for my husband Hal...who has been my rock. He is so even keeled...so laid back. He is always there to keep things running. I wouldn't have made it through this year without Hal being there as my strength.
I'm thankful for Max...my little "back-burner" kid. He just keeps rolling along...though he's had a year of taking the backseat to Jake and Mom and my dad... Max is a positive young man. He's getting straight A's....He's just finished a successful football season. In December he starts basketball again. Max is my special gift. A little tall now...at 13 years old, he's reached..or almost reached 6'1" tall. I love that little boy so much. He is a kid that everyone loves being around.
I'm thankful for my wonderful neighbors...Kristen and Crazy Roger. Goodness knows how many times I've relied on their help. I don't know what I'd do without them.
I'm thankful for Angie...who has to be the most positive person I've ever known. She always presents a positive attitude and puts a positive spin on whatever the trial or tribulation
I'm thankful for Amy...who gently nags me to write updates. Today she told me it is time to get to off my duff and get to writing about what I am thankful for. She reminds me that I do have a lot to be thankful for.
Amy is right. I have so much to be thankful for. We have so much to be thankful for. My friends...my family...those of you who have kept Jake and our family in your hearts as you continue to read the updates on Jake's website. We've been given many trials this year... a rather full plate....but we've survived. We have been very blessed.
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. And here is hoping that each and every one of us takes time to think about how much we have, and how rich our blessings have been.
me...alison.... Jake's very Thankful mom....Max's very Thankful mom.
Feb 11, 2008
A full year has gone by since Jake, Max, Kevin and Patrick left our house to go play pool. The events that have unfurled since the hour they drove out of the driveway have changed my life forever. The events have changed Jake. They have changed our family. They have humbled me. They have angered me. They have made sink to the ground with relief, gratefulness, and praise to God. They have made me curse God...spit on the Devil...hate myself....hate Jake...feel sorry for Max...for Hal..because I can't control all that I think that I should have control of. It has been an emotional roller coaster.
Never in my life will I forget the sight of Jake being loaded into the Paramedic Van. I pleaded with them to take Jake to Grossmont Hospital, where I have worked for 30 years. I was bluntly told that Jake had a "spinal deformity" and is "major trauma" and was being taken to Mercy.
Jake was conscious...but screaming in a high pitched voice. He knew who I was.. and he knew that he is the most special thing in the world to me. I clung to that positive sign--just as I hung on tight as the ambulance sped down the freeway with sirens blaring through red lights. I had seen it all in the movies...but this was reality, and frighteningly....we were in the spotlight.
Mercy Hospital has my utmost thanks and appreciation. Dr. Sise was on duty as Jake rolled into his ER. It seems like it was an instant and he had assessed Jake's injuries. In the time it took me to fill out the paperwork, Dr. Sise had Jake intubated, scanned and prepared for surgery. Jake had fractured both sides of his pelvis...had shattered his pelvic rim...had an L-5 fracture and was imminently going to surgery for a left sided epidural hematoma. I was numb. Jake was unconscious and intubated... I was numb. I was numb.
The surgery was successful, but hours later a second surgery was needed to control the intracranial pressure from a subdural hematoma that developed on the right side. A large portion of Jake's skull was removed to allow for swelling outwards instead of downwards which would have been life threatening.
By the end of the day, Jake had undergone two separate brain surgeries....was on the ventilator...and had a bleak outlook for a meaningful recovery.
Jake spent 8 days in a coma....9 days on the ventilator... His recovery is nothing short of a miracle. 3 weeks and 5 days later, after 3 brain surgeries....Jake was discharged to go home to recover.
There are some residuals from the accident, but a year later--- I can say that Jake is almost all the way back. His sense of smell is gone and we're told that he may never smell again. He's had some judgment...or lack of "good judgment" incidents and behaviors over this past summer and Fall, but all in all, he is coming around. Patience is not his virtue, nor is organization. Part of the problem with Jake's recovery is that it has been too easy for him. He slept through the pain...the terror....the gut wrenching fear...that we lived fully while he was in Mercy's ICU. From the outside, once you get past the "Two Seam Fastball" scars he has on his head, you'd never know that Jake had experienced anything unusual.
Today was a beautiful sunny and warm day. Last year it was drizzly, cold and wet.
Jake is working part time with Hal at Brady Company. Jake gets to do the construction clean up. Hal gets to order him around. Fun!
Jake is also going to Grossmont College taking general education classes. Jake is also on Grossmont College's Baseball team He's "red-shirted" this year which means that he works out with the team, but doesn't play the games. It's a good thing...because it gives Jake a chance to continue to heal as he rebuilds his body up for baseball. Next year he'll be pitching.
Max has grown 3 inches since last year. My back burner boy...is getting straight A's...is playing basketball...baseball.. and the trumpet. He's a joy to have. I am so lucky!
Tonight we celebrated Jake's one year anniversary by having dinner with the Lemon Grove Fire Department--the paramedics who responded so quickly and with such professionalism to Jake's emergency. They were gracious, funny and so encouraging. We thanked them profusely for all they did to help Jake. They were the first step in the quick actions that saved Jake's life.
2007 was a difficult year. Jake was critically injured...my mom had a devastating stroke... and my dad passed away, but we made it through somehow. 2008 is bringing it's own heartache. My wonderful Aunt Harriet, mom's "little sister"...had a stroke 2 weeks ago in Minneapolis. She was brought home from the hospital today under Hospice Care. I don't know how much she is aware of her situation, but I have to cling to the hope that she feels the love from her family and friends as they help her cross from this life into the next.
Many bridges crossed, many pathways traveled over this past year. There are dents and dings, but we are essentially intact thanks to all the support we've had from family, friends, and well wishers. A year of turmoil.
We do so appreciate all the positive thoughts from everyone over this past year.
With love....
me...alison....Jake and Max's mom.
